Walk Me Down the Middle
by lolitarun
Summary: Sequel to "Still Need You Around." Blaine and Kurt have moved to NYC. But things can't always be easy, and after some bad news Kurt has to find a way to prove to Blaine that he isn't going anywhere.
1. Early Appointments

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So, someone requested that I write a sequel for **_**Still Need You Around**_**, and I've come up with an idea. Which means that now you all get to see more of Kurt and Blaine's adventures dealing with NF2. I was also going to wait a bit longer to upload this, but I decided I should go ahead and gauge the interest in this before I wrote **_**too**_** much of it. Plus uploading this gives me a reason to procrastinate a bit more in writing my paper on **_**Wicked**_**. Enjoy!**

Somehow, Kurt just _knew_ that this was going to be one of those days when no amount of remembering the good things that had happened to them was going to help get through what they were facing. Kurt gently scratched at Blaine's scalp, hoping it would help the other man relax somewhat. Neither of them had really slept much the night before, knowing that Blaine's doctor's appointment this morning would be bringing at least some degree of bad news. The biggest issue was that neither of them really knew exactly what to expect, other than knowing that there were auditory nerve tumors that would have to be removed. The only question was when, and how bad it would be.

"I should get ready… I'll need to leave soon if I don't want to be late," Blaine finally commented, extricating himself from Kurt's grasp and climbing out of the bed.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Kurt asked, sitting up. He hadn't gone to many of these appointments, mostly because they usually occurred when he was either at school or work. But he'd taken the day off, knowing that whatever happened Blaine was going to need moral support today. So Kurt watched as Blaine stopped walking towards the bathroom, as if he was thinking about it for a moment.

"I… I think that might be a good idea. In case it's bad…" Blaine replied. Kurt could see the tension in Blaine's muscles as the shorter man thought about what he was saying and all of the potential problems.

"It won't be… it can't be, you saw the doctor just a few months ago…"

"And I've been known to develop new tumors in that amount of time. And they grow _fast_," Blaine replied. Kurt sighed. He knew that Blaine was right, of course. They'd already been through this kind of drama twice since Kurt had moved to New York for NYADA – once just after he finished his freshman year, and again a little more than a year after Blaine had joined him in the city to go to NYU. The second time had been by far the worst, as they had removed six medium-sized tumors from various parts of Blaine's brain. Since then Blaine had done well, with only a couple of small tumors that didn't seem to be progressing very rapidly at every MRI since then.

But then Blaine had started having trouble with his ears – first tinnitus, followed by episodes of vertigo and a gradual reduction in his ability to hear. While he could still hear people talking to him, Kurt could tell that he was starting to struggle. Which meant they were looking at more surgery, and potentially major complications if the doctor couldn't find a way to salvage his auditory nerve.

Kurt got out of bed quickly, walking over to the dresser he shared with his boyfriend and pulling out clothing for both of them so that they could get ready and get out the door as quickly as possible. Kurt knew that the best thing they could do was just get this over with and find out exactly what they were facing.

"I'm not sure I can do this… not today." Kurt looked up as Blaine walked out of the bathroom, looking incredibly frustrated and upset and immediately walked over to him, wrapping his arms around Blaine's body as he started to sob against Kurt's shoulder.

"Hey… it's okay. It's all going to be okay," Kurt replied, rubbing small circles on Blaine's back as he tried to comfort the man. "We don't know what's going on, we can't freak out until we know what we have to deal with this time."

"But this is still just the beginning, Kurt… I have _years_ of dealing with this ahead of me. And there's still time for you to get out of this before it gets bad…"

"Blaine, stop." Kurt pulled away, putting his hands on either side of Blaine's face and looking the boy in the eyes. "I'm not leaving. Trust me, if I wasn't ready to deal with this I would be long gone by now. We've been together for more than five years now… through three surgeries. And I'm not going to leave you because of this." Kurt leaned in and pressed a kiss against Blaine's lips. "Just give yourself a minute to calm down, okay? You're going to be okay. _We're_ going to be okay."

Kurt smiled as Blaine nodded in response to his instructions, moving over towards the bed and picking up the clothes Kurt had picked out for him. Kurt chose to go ahead and get ready in the bathroom while Blaine got dressed, knowing that Blaine would be okay. They'd gotten through this kind of breakdown before – many times, in fact. But Kurt had always gotten Blaine to calm down and think rationally in the past, and he was sure that it would happen again.

"Can we get bagels and coffee? On the way to the doctor's office?" Kurt smiled as Blaine whispered the words from the doorway of the bathroom as Kurt finished brushing his teeth.

"Yeah, if that's what you want for breakfast," Kurt replied, reaching out and squeezing Blaine's hand gently. "I was kind of hoping that you would want something like that for breakfast, since I don't think we really have time to actually make something to eat."

It didn't take that long for them to finish getting ready, and Kurt was thankful that the line at their usual coffee shop was short because they were a little short on time.

"Doctor's appointment?" Chloe, one of their favorite baristas asked as she passed over Blaine's medium drip and Kurt's mocha latte as well as their bagels.

"Yeah… and it's looking like we might actually get a definitive diagnosis this time around," Kurt replied with a slight smile.

"But that's a good thing, right? I mean, it means you'll finally have answers…"

"It's just scary… we know there are going to be more tumors, because there have been more each time he's been to the doctor. But knowing what's coming is kind of overwhelming," Kurt replied. "Thanks, Chloe."

Kurt leaned down and pressed a quick kiss against Blaine's cheek as he walked out to the coffee shop's patio area, where he'd left Blaine to wait on him. He passed Blaine's coffee to the other man, before handing him a bagel to eat as they walked the rest of the way to the hospital annex that held the doctor's office. It had been one of the reasons they'd chosen their apartment when they'd moved a few months earlier – their new place was closer to both Blaine's doctor and NYU, not to mention Kurt's new job in the theater district.

"You'll call my mom and let her know what's going on, right?" Kurt rolled his eyes; they had already been through this conversation. Twice. But the thought of potentially losing his hearing seemed to have driven Blaine to distraction, because he kept asking this same question.

"If you're too upset, you know I'll call her. I'd call anyone that you thought needed to know, if you couldn't do it," Kurt replied. "But you're going to be okay… we can get through this, just like we've gotten through all of the other times something has happened. You'll be fine, okay?" Blaine nodded, but Kurt could tell he was still distracted as they made their way down the street, out of Murray Hill and towards the hospital. It wasn't until they were standing just outside the doors, finishing off their breakfasts that Kurt turned to Blaine, forcing the other man to look him in the eyes. "This is just another bump in the road, okay? No matter what happens today, you can do this. You're going to be okay." Kurt watched as Blaine nodded, smiling.

"Thank you, Kurt."


	2. Good News?

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So I didn't really get much of a response to the first chapter, but I figured I would go ahead and post this because it might get a bit more of a response than that first chapter if I gave you some kind of answers about what's going on!**

The waiting seemed interminable – longer than Kurt felt it really should have been given his experience with Blaine's previous doctor visits. He hadn't actually come with Blaine for one of these appointments before, but he'd always gotten text message updates from Blaine throughout the day when this was happening.

Kurt glanced down at his phone, realizing that it had been two hours since Blaine had been taken back for a CT scan. He glanced up at the nurse behind the window, wondering if asking her would get him any information about what was going on back there. It was worrying Kurt that he hadn't heard anything, until a nurse finally walked out into the waiting area. "Kurt Hummel?" Kurt stood up quickly, walking over to her.

"Is something wrong? Is Blaine okay?" Kurt asked

"He asked me to come get you… he's fine, he just wants you to hear what's going on with him," the nurse explained, smiling at him as they walked down the hall. She opened a door and ushered him inside. "The doctor should be with you in a few minutes."

Kurt hurried over to the empty chair next to the one Blaine was sitting in, taking the other boy's hand and squeezing it gently. "You okay?"

"Yeah… there was a backup for the CT scan, and then the scan itself took a little longer than normal," Blaine replied. "I think they were taking measurements and stuff. Which probably means surgery sooner rather than later." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand again, smiling at him.

"But that could be a good thing… the sooner they remove the auditory tumors, the less you'll lose with your hearing. And I know you don't want to lose that…"

"I know… it's just worrying, you know? That they're already planning surgery before they even tell me it's necessary," Blaine replied. "I know it's probably something that _has_ to be done, but I'm still worried about all of it. The thought of more surgery is terrifying."

Kurt looked up as the door opened before he could respond to Blaine's comment and Dr. Iseman walked in. "Hey guys… how are you doing today?"

"Nervous," Kurt admitted as the man walked behind his desk and sat down.

"Then we'll get right down to it… there are bilateral vestibular schwannomas. The auditory nerve tumors we've been looking for to make a definitive diagnosis of neurofibromatosis." Kurt glanced over at Blaine, who just nodded. For whatever reason, he was making himself stay calm through all of this, and Kurt was thankful for that. "The good news is that they're still small… we have more options for removal if we operate soon, which means a greater chance for avoiding further hearing loss. This type of tumor generally grows more slowly, but given Blaine's history and how quickly these tumor appeared, I don't want to wait."

"So, when are we talking about?" Kurt asked, mentally going through their schedules for the next few weeks and trying to figure out whether or not they would have to rearrange some things to make this work. Because there wasn't anything they had to do that Kurt could see being more important than Blaine's health.

"I have an opening next Monday… if not then, it'll be a few weeks before I can get him in." Kurt glanced at Blaine, who was shaking his head.

"School starts in two weeks… it has to be Monday," Blaine replied with a sigh.

"We'll rearrange whatever we have to," Kurt added. "This is priority one." Kurt glanced back at the doctor, who nodded and turned to his computer to schedule the surgery.

"Okay… Monday morning, nine AM. We'll have to rush him through all of the pre-surgical testing, but we can make it work. I'll get my nurse to schedule all of that for you, and send you all of the details." Kurt nodded, smiling at the doctor and squeezing Blaine's hand again.

"Thank you."

"I know this is hard… this is what we've been waiting for, but it's not necessarily good news because it does mean more problems in the future," the doctor replied. "But we know what we're facing now, which means we know what to keep an eye out for in the future. I know it's daunting to think about all of this, but at least we know."

"So, other than surgery, what now?" Blaine asked.

"We just have to keep an eye on what's happening, make sure that we compensate for any problems that may arise as quickly as possible. After this surgery, we'll need to have your hearing situation evaluated as soon as possible. For the moment, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself and pay attention to any symptoms that might come up between now and surgery on Monday. Hopefully things won't change, but we need to know about anything that might indicate something has changed."

"Okay." Kurt looked at Blaine as the man responded to the doctor's instructions. "I… I need to make some phone calls…" Blaine began.

"Of course. I'll see you on Monday for surgery."

Kurt followed Blaine out, not saying anything until they'd reached the sidewalk outside. "Are you okay?" Kurt wrapped an arm around Blaine's waist as they walked towards their apartment.

"I'm… I think I'll be okay. I just need some time to process all of this, when we get home. Could you call my mom, let her know what's going on when we get back? I just… I need some time to myself right now." Kurt nodded, gently squeezing his boyfriend's hip.

"Okay. I can do that, if that's what you need from me," Kurt replied. The biggest thing he wanted was to make sure that Blaine was okay, but he didn't want to pressure the man into anything. And if Blaine thought he needed some space and some time to himself, Kurt would keep his distance – enough to work through things together, but not so much that he couldn't keep an eye on Blaine to make sure that he wasn't too upset about what was going on.

"Thank you."

"Do you want me to get you when lunch is ready, or just let you come out when you're ready?" Kurt asked.

"I'm not that hungry, to be honest. Don't know that I would be able to eat much of anything right now. At least not until I've had a chance to get past the shock of all of this," Blaine replied. Kurt glanced over at the other man as he bit down on his bottom lip. "I'm… I'm not sure what's going to happen here, Kurt. And that scares me. I just… I want to know what I'm going up against, and I can't know that until after the surgery because my hearing might be fucked…"

"They're going to do everything they can to protect your hearing, Blaine…"

"But it might not be enough… what if they fuck up, or if they _can't_ do that for some reason…"

"Then we'll adapt. We'll figure things out as we go along, do whatever it takes to make sure you can keep living your life," Kurt replied. "This is so important, Blaine… if we don't do this, you _will_ lose your hearing to those tumors. This is the only chance we have."

"You talk as thought this is somehow going to affect you just as much as it affects me." Kurt knew almost immediately that Blaine was kind of pissed off. "Because to be honest, _I'm_ the only one that has to have their head cut open. And _I'm_ the only one that could potentially be deaf when all of this is over. _You_ could walk away from all of this mess whenever you wanted to – _I'm_ the one that's stuck with this for the rest of my life, no matter what I do."

"Blaine, I'm _not_ going to walk away. So yeah, it affects you more than it affects me. But it _does_ affect me because I'm the one that's going to be helping you deal with whatever comes from all of this. I'm in this for the long haul, okay?" Kurt leaned in and pressed a kiss against Blaine's temple. "I've told you again and again, I'm _not_ going to walk away from this. I love you too much."

"Why?" Kurt stopped in his tracks, surprised by the question.

"Blaine… do you really _have_ to ask that question? I've been in love with you pretty much since the day we met, since you were so nice to me even though you knew I was a spy. All of the other things you did… those were just reminders that you were an amazing person and that I didn't want to ever be without you. I'm _constantly_ reminded why I fell in love with you to begin with." Kurt watched as Blaine closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"I don't understand how I'm enough for you… how you can just accept me like this, after all the shit I've put you through and all of the drama. I'm never going to be able to just be like everyone else and relax, because I _have_ to worry about my health. I don't have a choice… I'll _never_ have a choice." Kurt nodded, sighing.

"I think we need to finish this discussion at home, after you've had a chance to calm down and decompress some," Kurt replied, taking Blaine's hand and starting to walk back towards their apartment again.


	3. Worry

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So I know I'm running a little late posting this (especially since I've already written chapter four, too O.O). But I legit forgot that I was supposed to post this – don't hate me! Once May rolls around, I'll have a lot more time to write (at least until summer school starts) so I'll get a lot done then. Anyways… I hope you enjoy!**

Kurt had to admit that he was getting worried about Blaine. While he'd dealt with the mood swings before when Blaine had been told he would need another surgery, this was different. It was almost as if Blaine was shutting down, preparing himself for the worst possible outcome and distancing himself from Kurt so that it wouldn't be difficult for Kurt to leave him behind. Which was the last thing that Kurt would ever want to do.

Kurt rubbed Blaine's back as they lay in bed. Blaine had barely gotten out of it since he'd gotten the official diagnosis, and it tore Kurt apart to have to leave him every day to go to work. "Can you at least talk to me, please?" Kurt asked, leaning down and pressing a kiss on the back of the man's neck. "I hate to see you in pain, and I want to help you deal with whatever's going on right now."

"I just… I feel like my life's falling apart before my eyes," Blaine began. Kurt sat up, leaning against the headboard so that he could see Blaine's face a bit better. He had to admit that he was surprised by the obvious tear tracks on the other man's face. "I don't think I can handle this, Kurt… music has been my life for so long, I can't imagine losing all of that. And I know that this surgery is my only chance to come out of all of this without losing all of my hearing, but I'm terrified that it's still going to cause enough damage that I'm going to need hearing aids or something to be able to even hear your voice. And I don't want to lose the ability to hear your voice…" Kurt ran his hands through Blaine's curls as the man spoke, hoping that he could somehow comfort Blaine despite the fact that he was worrying about the exact same things.

"But you heard the doctor… they're going to do everything they can to save your hearing…" Kurt began.

"But what if it isn't enough? What if someone makes a mistake? You've read the same websites I have, Kurt… you know that if they somehow damage that nerve, I'll never be able to hear properly again. That I'll be totally reliant on reading lips to understand what people are saying, if I can even manage that…"

"You're smart, Blaine… you'll be able to adapt to whatever happens with all of this," Kurt replied.

"I don't want to do it, Kurt. I don't want to risk this…"

"Blaine, if you don't have this surgery, you _will_ lose your hearing. All of it. And once it's gone, it isn't going to come back." Kurt hated to be the bearer of bad news, but he _had_ done all of the same research Blaine had done over the past few years. Kurt knew what they were facing in the future, now that he'd gotten an official diagnosis.

"I know," Blaine sighed. Kurt watched as the man closed his eyes again, shaking his head and clearly fighting back more tears. "But I'm so terrified of what might go wrong, I feel like it would be better if we just let this run its course and I learned to adapt to the situation – learned sign language and all of that so that I have _time_ to get used to the idea of being deaf."

"But there isn't any guarantee that you're going to lose your hearing, Blaine… you're focusing on the potential negatives instead of the potential positive – that you might actually get through this without really having any long-term problems from these tumors."

"Not sure that's really a positive…" Blaine began. "If it wasn't for this stupid genetic condition, it wouldn't be a problem at all. I wouldn't be in this position if I were normal." Kurt leaned down and pressed a kiss against the top of Blaine's head. "That's all I want, Kurt… I want to be normal. To not have to constantly worry about stuff like this… I've in this position since I was a kid, had to always be on the lookout for any symptoms that might be related to some kind of tumor… I was so close to being considered cured of cancer, only to find out that I have this stupid condition that means I _still_ have to go to the doctor and have tests run and all of that every few months to make sure that I'm going to be okay. I've been dealing with all of this for almost two-thirds of my life…"

"I know it's upsetting. But this is what you've been dealt, and we have to work through it," Kurt replied.

"I'm sick of working through it." Kurt smiled.

"I know… trust me, I know," Kurt replied. He leaned down and pressed another kiss against Blaine's forehead. "But I also know that you're going to keep fighting it, because no matter how tired you may be of fighting you aren't ready to give up just yet. And I'm not going to _let_ you just give up." Kurt glanced over at the clock on their nightstand, sighing. "We should get up… your mom's going to be here soon, and I'm sure she doesn't want to see you looking like this."

"Do I really have to get up?" Blaine asked, rolling onto his back. Kurt nodded.

"We _both_ need to get a shower. And I was kind of hoping that you might want to do that together…" Kurt began with a mischievous smile. He started to get out of bed, until Blaine reached out and stopped him.

"Don't hate me…" Blaine began. Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Why would I hate you?"

"At first I was staying in bed because I was depressed about all of this, but… my whole world's been spinning since yesterday, and I'm afraid to get out of bed more than I have to." Kurt leaned down, pressing a kiss against Blaine's temple again.

"I'm going to get everything ready, and then I'm going to come help you," Kurt replied.

"You shouldn't have to…"

"I _want_ to help you. I would kind of be a shitty boyfriend if I _didn't_ want to help you, don't you think?" Kurt asked with a smile as he hurried around their bedroom, gathering up a change of clothes for each of them and getting the shower started before he returned to the bed to help Blaine stand and walk into the bathroom. "You can lean on me if you need to… you know that."

"I mostly just want you to be nearby, in case I lose my balance," Blaine replied. "I can walk just fine. It's more of an issue of not knowing whether or not I can stay on my feet long enough to do much of anything." Kurt was careful to keep his arm around Blaine's waist the whole way.

Actually accomplishing the task of showering was a bit more difficult than Kurt had really envisioned. While the preparation part was fairly easy, because there was plenty of room in the bathroom for Blaine to sit if he needed to, once they were actually in the shower it was a bit of a juggling act to keep the curly-headed man from losing his balance and slipping around. It took a little longer than Kurt had anticipated, and they were barely dressed when he heard the buzzer for the front door of their building.

"Go answer… I'm feeling a little better now. I think I can probably make it out to the couch without your help," Blaine replied. Kurt hurried to answer the buzzer, letting Blaine's mother into the building.

"I'm going to go help your mom with her suitcase… if you get too dizzy, just sit down and wait for us to get back, okay? I don't want you to hurt yourself."

Kurt hurried down the stairs, taking the rolling suitcase from the small Filipina woman he met at the bottom and giving her a quick hug. "My son isn't going to come greet his own mother?" she asked with a joking smile. Kurt gave her a quick hug before he started leading her up the stairs.

"He's not feeling that well right now… I left him upstairs to come help you with this," Kurt replied, noticing the way her face changed quickly to a look of concern. "He's just dizzy. It's supposed to go away after he has the surgery on Monday… they're probably going to have to remove the nerves that are causing it along with the tumors."

"How's he holding up otherwise?"

"He doesn't want to have the surgery… he's afraid of it, I think. Of losing his hearing. Maybe even of some of the other possibilities, if he's even thought about any of those," Kurt replied. "Mostly I'm worried that he's going to back out and refuse to go through with any of it, because he's afraid of the possibilities. That he's just going to give up without really fighting this, when he's fought so long and hard to even get this far."

"Would you stay, even if he did change his mind?" Kurt looked over at Blaine's mother, who looked genuinely concerned about what the answer would be to that question.

"I would never leave your son because he's sick, Mrs. Anderson. Blaine is the best thing that's ever happened to me… I don't think I could ever repay him for what he's done."

"That's why I've always liked you."


	4. Surgery

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So… yeah. I can't even… (I'm writing this immediately after watching "Big Brother" and Darren Criss is hot – so I think everyone now knows why I JUST CAN'T EVEN). The song at the end of the chapter is "Goodnight Moon" by Go Radio – which totally doesn't work with Kurt's voice unless he changes the key, the way I do. But it's a beautiful song, and I've been wanting to use it for a while, so I'll do what I want, lol.**

Kurt had always held a hatred for waiting rooms in hospitals. To be honest, they reminded him of everything bad that had ever happened to him in some way or another – his mother's death, his father's heart attack, all of the surgeries he'd been through with Blaine. Very rarely did anything good come of being in a hospital, at least in his experience. So when he was still waiting to hear anything more than an hour after Blaine was scheduled to be out of surgery, his mind automatically went to the worst possible conclusions.

"Stop worrying so much… if something was wrong, they would have told us something by now." Kurt shook his head, smiling slightly at Blaine's mother.

"You know me too well…"

"I know that you worry a lot more than has ever been necessary about Blaine. The last thing he needs is for you to make yourself sick thinking about all the bad things that might happen," Mrs. Anderson commented, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Kurt? Mrs. Anderson?" They both looked up as Dr. Iseman walked through the door, looking tired. Kurt immediately stood up.

"How is he?" The fact that the doctor sighed before he answered worried Kurt.

"It was a little more complicated than we originally expected… it's always a delicate procedure, but the tumors were a little larger than we originally thought. Still small enough to be safely removed, but it made things a bit more difficult than we originally expected," Dr. Iseman replied.

"But Blaine's going to be okay, right?" Kurt asked, watching as the man nodded with another sigh.

"He's still out of it… we can't fully assess what damage may have been done to his auditory nerve until he's more responsive. But physically he did well in the surgery, and everything seems to be going smoothly thus far. As long as nothing changes, with a few days rest he should be just fine."

"When can we see him?" Mrs. Anderson asked.

"I'll have someone come get you when he's settled in the recovery room… he won't be very coherent, of course. I wouldn't count on him being very coherent until tomorrow… but I'm sure the two of you are probably already used to that." Kurt nodded.

"Thank you, Dr. Iseman," he replied, sitting back down next to his boyfriend's mother to wait with a sigh.

"He's going to be okay, Kurt."

"I'm still worried about him, though… we don't know whether or not he's going to be able to hear when he wakes up. And if he's lost his hearing, he's going to be so upset…"

"We can deal with it," Mrs. Anderson replied. Kurt nodded, sighing.

"I know… but he's been so upset about this whole thing. I just wish that something could be easy for him… just this once. He's been through so much already."

"He's strong… Blaine has always been good at handling these things, dealing with the pressure of being ill. He just needs our support, if there is something wrong."

"That's one thing he'll always have."

The two sat in silence for a while, until a nurse came back and led them into the recovery area, through a set of curtains that separated Blaine's bed from the rest of the room. Blaine was completely out of it, the only signal that he was even remotely starting to wake up from anesthesia the way his hands occasionally gripped at the thin blanket that covered his legs and the soft moans that occasionally escaped his lips. Kurt immediately moved to stand next to the bed, taking Blaine's hand and squeezing it three times in rapid succession. _I love you._ He smiled as Blaine weakly squeezed his hand back four times. _I love you, too_.

"He looks pale…" Mrs. Anderson began. Kurt glanced up, realizing that she was now the one that looked worried about how Blaine was doing.

"He's always pale after surgery," Kurt replied, reaching up to move the tube that was providing Blaine with supplemental oxygen so that it wouldn't move out of Blaine's nose. "At least we'll have some idea of what's going on with his hearing soon… we'll know whether or not it's gone completely, or if it's just damaged."

"He'll be okay." Kurt was fairly certain that Mrs. Anderson's comment was meant more as a reassurance for the both of them than an actual prediction of what the future would hold. That was what they both needed to hear at the moment – that things were going to be okay and that Blaine would still be able to hear them when he was coherent enough to actually respond to their comments.

"No matter what, he will be… we're going to do whatever it takes to make sure of that," Kurt replied with a smile.

Waiting for Blaine to be semi-coherent seemed to take an eternity; while they were both used to the fact that it took Blaine a while to come out of the anesthesia after surgery, it didn't make the waiting any easier. Especially in a case like this, when they were waiting to see something so important.

"Kurt…?" Kurt felt Blaine squeezing his hand and leaned over so that he was right in Blaine's line of vision.

"I'm right here, Blaine." Kurt wasn't all that surprised that the boy didn't open his eyes.

"Will you sing to me? I want to hear your voice…" Kurt glanced up at Blaine's mother, smiling. He wasn't sure if Blaine was talking to him because he'd heard Kurt's words or if he was just asking because he didn't know whether or not he'd be able to hear anything.

"_Don't go to bed yet, love,  
I think it's too early  
And we just need a little time to ourselves.  
Ifmy wall clock tells me that it's 4 in the morning  
I'll give it hell._

"_Cause I've been trying way too long  
To try and be the perfect song  
When our hearts are heavy burdens  
We shouldn't have to bear alone,_

"_So goodnight moon and goodnight you  
When you're all that I think about  
All that I dream about  
How'd I ever breathe without_

"_A goodnight kiss from goodnight you  
The kind of hope they all talk about  
The kind of feeling we sing about  
Sit in our bedroom and read aloud  
Like a passage from _Goodnight Moon."

Kurt watched Blaine's face as he sang, noting the smile that slowly spread across it.

"I love that song."

"You can hear me?" Kurt asked.

"Not as well… but I hear you. I hear your voice. I love your voice…"


	5. Helping Hands

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So, now you'll get some idea of what's going on with Blaine's hearing. Yes, he has some of his hearing – but it's still easiest for him to understand what's being said if he can see what people are saying as well as hear it.**

The whole world was sort of new and different – and Blaine wasn't sure that it was all in a good way. Every sound he heard was muffled or distorted in some way, and even his boyfriend's voice just didn't sound quite right. He'd already discovered that it was easier to understand other people if he could look at their lips as they spoke – his mother in particular.

Blaine rolled over as he felt Kurt put a hand on his shoulder, smiling at the other man. "Audiologist today… nervous?" Blaine nodded, sighing.

"I don't want to have to register as disabled with the school… and I'm terrified that I'm going to _have_ to do that, that I won't be able to hear well enough even with the hearing aids to just be normal for a change," Blaine replied. He smiled as Kurt brushed through the little bit of hair that had grown back on the side of his head. "I wish you could go with me… I'd rather it were your voice, instead of my mom's, that I hear through the stupid things first."

"I wish it could be my voice, too." Blaine closed his eyes as Kurt leaned in and pressed a kiss against his lips. Blaine opened his eyes again as Kurt started talking, but he missed most of what was said because he couldn't really understand the garbled words.

"Repeat, please?"

"I said that you need to get dressed. We both have a busy day ahead of us, and you don't want to be late to your appointment."

**LINE**

Blaine bit down on his bottom lip as the doctor held out the clear molds that had been created to fit in his ears, both of which had already been connected to the external workings of the hearing aids. "I don't even know how to work these things…" Blaine began, shaking his head.

"You can start by putting them on, and then we'll work on making adjustments as necessary." Blaine nodded at the doctor's words, reaching out and taking them to put them in his ears. It felt… strange. And the volume of the doctor's voice was shocking when he spoke again. "These may not be perfect… we'll meet a few more times to test the fit and how well these settings work, making whatever adjustments are necessary for you to be comfortable with them. Wearing them all the time will help you adjust…"

"It's loud…" Blaine replied, reaching up to try and adjust the volume because his voice was even louder than the doctor's. "I don't… it's too loud, I don't like this…" he began, shaking his head and starting to take the hearing aids off, until his mother stopped him.

"We'll adjust the volume if it's too loud…" the doctor began. Blaine let him fiddle with the dials for a moment. "Better?" Blaine nodded, much happier with the volume when the doctor spoke again.

"Still a little loud, but not as bad," Blaine replied. "Can you show me how to do that? Like, what I'm supposed to adjust to change the volume and all of that?"

"Of course… we'll go over all of that before you leave today. We want you to be comfortable with the hearing aids before we send you home with them, because we know from experience that you won't wear them if you aren't comfortable. And the only way to know what we need to adjust next visit is for you to wear them consistently for the next two weeks and get used to them. They're useless if you don't wear them."

"What about school? I can hear better, but I don't think I'll be able to understand what's being said _and_ take notes at the same time…" Blaine began.

"Classes start Monday, right?" the doctor asked. Blaine nodded.

"I think the best thing in this situation is going to be getting you some help… there are accommodations that can be made for your situation. My nurse has all of the paperwork for the various schools and universities here in the city, and she'll be glad to help you sort it all out before you leave today, so that we can hopefully get everything set up by Monday." Blaine nodded, smiling slightly.

"Thank you."

"No problem… that's what we're here for."

It took two hours to go through all of the instructions and paperwork and everything that they had to take care of before he and his mother could actually get out of the office and start making their way home.

The street was confusing for Blaine; he'd gotten so used to not hearing much of the background noise in the world around him, that pretty much everything was distracting and borderline disorienting. He was just thankful his mother was there to keep him on track through all of it, leading him over to a cab downstairs and giving the driver directions to his apartment building. It was a quick trip, given the fact that Blaine and Kurt usually just walked back to Murray Hill from his doctor's appointments at the hospital. But Blaine's mother had insisted on paying for a cab again, and Blaine wasn't going to protest. Especially not now that he realized just how strange the whole world seemed – so alive and full of sounds that he didn't even realize he'd been missing out on since his surgery at the beginning of the previous week.

"Are you okay?" his mother finally asked as they got into the building to walk upstairs. "I know this is a lot to take in all at one time… are you going to be okay with all of these changes?"

"I think so… I just need to get used to the hearing aids. You heard the doctor – it's just a matter of wearing them and getting used to the way they sound versus how things sounded before. Plus the whole speech recognition thing that I still need to work on…"

"We'll get through it, sweetie. That's what Kurt and I are here for, to help you deal with all of this and make sure that you're getting whatever help you need," his mother replied. Blaine sighed, shaking his head.

"I know… it's just frustrating that I have to depend on other people to help me with things that I _should_ be able to do. That I was able to do up until last week. I just… this is my senior year of college, and I thought that I was going to be able to make it without any big issues. And now not only do I have all of the usual pressure of finishing my degree on my back, but I have to learn how to deal with these stupid hearing aids…"

"Hey… you're strong. If _anyone_ can do it, it's you…"

"You have to say that because you're my mother," Blaine replied with a smirk as he unlocked the apartment door.

"No… I _have_ to say that because it's true. You beat cancer… and I'm telling you now, Blaine, that no one thought you could do that. You survived those boys beating you up in high school, and you've survived plenty of surgeries at this point. You're strong."

"I've been lucky…" Blaine began.

"Luck and strength aren't mutually exclusive."


	6. Late Night Conversations

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So, I've been plotting the ending of this chapter for a while. Actually, the whole idea for this sequel centers around that… it was the starting point for this whole thing. Hope you enjoy!**

Even with assistance from the university, class was hell for Blaine. He was so used to writing his own notes that he couldn't stop his hands from attempting to scribble something down even though he had to look at the professor's lips to fully understand what was going on. And a few of his professors seemed to enjoy making things difficult by refusing to turn so that he would be able to see their lips. It was frustrating. The only thing that made it easier was the fact that the school provided someone to take notes for him and a couple of his classmates had offered to pass along their notes to help him out.

"You need to relax." Blaine smiled at Kurt's words, shaking his head with a sigh.

"I'm not getting it in class… I'm having to work twice as hard as everyone else just to keep up," Blaine replied, pushing his notes to the side as Kurt sat down at the table, reaching out to hold his hand. Blaine hadn't realized that it was so late – if Kurt was home, that meant it was well after midnight. And given the fact that Blaine had an early class, he really should have been in bed.

"Blaine, maybe you should consider dropping to part-time status. You're this stressed out about fifteen credit hours, and you said a few months ago that you had to do eighteen next semester to graduate in May… maybe we need to think about you taking an extra semester or two to finish your degree, so that you can do your best…"

"No." Blaine shook his head, grabbing his notes again and looking away from Kurt. That was not what he wanted to hear; he was working on this, and Blaine was determined to make it work. Blaine tried not to look at Kurt again, but the other man turned his chin so that he was looking at Kurt's lips again.

"We _need_ to think about it, Blaine. As much as you don't like the idea, it's a week and a half into the semester and you're already stressed out from trying to keep up with five classes. It's a problem." Blaine closed his eyes, sighing.

"I just… I don't want to give up on this." Blaine opened his eyes again as Kurt squeezed his hand.

"It isn't giving up. It's realizing your limitations and not over-working yourself. The stress you're already under is too much for you to keep going on indefinitely. You're going to make yourself sick, and that's the last thing I want to happen to you. We're still going to make sure you get your degree, Blaine… but you need to make sure you aren't going to burn yourself out before you even get close to finishing. Especially now… we know what's going on, but we can't just get complacent about your health. It's _so_ important to keep an eye on what's going on now, so that we can stop any problems before they get bad. And if you're stressed out and exhausted all the time, it's just going to make it that much harder to keep up with it."

"I know."

"Then let's at least talk about you dropping a class. In the morning, after we've both gotten a good night's sleep. I just hate seeing you like this, and I really want you to be able to rest and relax every once in a while," Kurt commented. Blaine nodded, sighing and closing his eyes.

"You're right. It just feels like a failure, like I can't hack it. And how on Earth can I handle having a job if I can't even handle fifteen hours like this?" Blaine felt Kurt squeezing his hand and gently rubbing his back.

"Come on… let's go to bed, spend some time just relaxing. We'll talk about what we're going to do tomorrow, before I have to go to the theater." Blaine nodded, getting up and following his boyfriend into their bedroom. Blaine dropped onto the bed as soon as they got in there, thankful that he'd changed into pajamas after dinner to be more comfortable. He had to admit, he mostly wanted to just fall asleep right then and there because it had already been a long day and he was kind of exhausted. But the last thing he wanted to do was fall asleep on Kurt when they had a little bit of time to actually hang out and relax together.

"Hurry up… I want you to come over here and relax with me," Blaine commented as he waited for Kurt to come out of the bathroom. He watched as the other man undressed and slipped into a pair of pajamas before walking over to the bed. "No skincare routine?"

"I've started doing it at the theater, so I don't have to wake you up when I get home," Kurt replied. Blaine smiled as the other man crawled into the bed, cuddling up next to him while making sure he stayed far enough away so that Blaine could see his lips. "You should take your hearing aids off before you fall asleep wearing them."

"But it sounds more like your voice with them on… almost like normal."

"And you'll be pissed off come morning, when you have to change the batteries because you killed them overnight. Or you won't sleep, because every little sound you hear will startle you, and you'll wake up more miserable than you were when you went to sleep," Kurt reasoned. Blaine sighed, knowing that the man was right. Besides, taking out the hearing aids would give Blaine an excuse to stare at his boyfriend's beautiful face. Blaine turned the devices off and put them on the nightstand before he turned back to Kurt.

"Thank you. For keeping my head on straight. Even when I really don't want to listen to you," Blaine commented, leaning in and pressing a kiss against Kurt's lips.

"I just want to help you. You've been through so much already, and I just want to make things a little easier…"

"You do too much for me already… I can't ever repay you for all of this."

"Marry me." Blaine sat up as soon as the words were out of Kurt's mouth, turning so that he was facing the man instead of turning his head to see what he was saying.

"What?"

"Marry me." Blaine backed away slightly as Kurt sat up, taking his hands. "I'm not proposing yet. I don't have a ring, and you deserve at least that much. And I'm not going to say that we're ready for marriage, because there are still a lot of things we need to talk about and do first. But say that you'll consider it." Blaine shook his head, confused about the whole situation.

"Kurt… why would you want me?" Blaine could tell that Kurt wasn't sure how to respond to his question. "You're on Broadway. You're going to be a huge star, and I'm not talking about in the distant future. And me… I'm struggling to finish my degree, I'm disabled. I feel like I spend all of my time going to doctor's appointments because it's the only way to keep this thing from getting worse. I'm never going to be good enough for you…"

"You're _everything_ to me, Blaine. I don't want someone who's perfect. I want someone that's perfect for me… and that's you. Even with everything that's happened, I still see you as the dapper prep-school boy I fell in love with. The guy with the goofy smile who convinced me he loved me by singing a Hey Monday song with me. Who followed me to public school when I realized I had to face up to my bullies, even though he knew he would be facing them, too."

"But that isn't who I am anymore…" Blaine began.

"It may not be who you see yourself as. And you have changed some – we both have. But they're changes for the better, and I've been falling even more in love with you ever since. I'm not asking lightly, okay? I've thought about this, and I want you to think about it, too." Blaine squeezed back when Kurt tightened his grip on Blaine's hands.

"Okay." Blaine sighed. "But I won't promise you anything… because I can't promise you anything that I know will hurt you. And the last thing I want to do is cause you any pain or hardship… and I'm afraid that if I marry you that's all I'll be able to give you."

"You'll always have your heart to give. Your love. And that's all I need from you." Blaine smiled as Kurt reached up and brushed a curl off Blaine's forehead.

"You make it really hard for me to protect you from my shortcomings…" Blaine watched as Kurt shook his head.

"There aren't any shortcomings you have to protect me from."


	7. Voice of Reason

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So I totally finished this chapter as an excuse to avoid writing a paper that's due a week from today. LOL. The good news is, that and two tests are all that stand between me and my summer break… which lasts all of a month thanks to summer school. Anyway, enjoy!**

"You should at least _think_ about it, you know. That's what Kurt asked for." Blaine sighed at Wes's words, shaking his head and taking a sip from his coffee.

"I know. I just… I feel like I'll only disappoint him. He thinks that he can still see the same guy I was when we met. But how can I be that person, when I'm going to always be dependent on him in some way? Even with hearing aids, I don't hear very well. Unless it's his voice."

"Because you know his voice."

"I just feel like I'm never going to be able to be normal. To even be good enough for Kurt. Because I want the best for him… I love him, and I don't want to do anything that might hurt him…"

"You do realize that telling him no is still hurting him, right? Because he is just as madly in love with you as you are with him, and if you say that you can't marry him because you don't feel good enough… it'll crush him." Blaine sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. He knew that Wes was right, of course.

"But how do we know that I won't end up hurting him if I _do_ end up marrying him? I'm just going to stress him out all the time, because he's going to be worried about my health and all of that…"

"Blaine, he's going to worry about you no matter what… you're his best friend too, not just his boyfriend. And he does really care about you, not just because he's in love with you," Wes replied. "Seriously, the two of you have been so madly in love with one another since long before either of you admitted it, there's no way he couldn't care about you, even if you weren't together." Blaine took a sip of his coffee, biting down on his bottom lip. "Seriously, Blaine… if the tables were turned, don't you think that you would want the exact same thing Kurt does?"

"Of course… but Kurt's…"

"Amazing. Beautiful. Everything you want in your life? Blaine, Kurt says the same things about you. The two of you are _meant_ to be together… you're soulmates. Don't go fucking that up because you don't think you're good enough for him, because you're exactly what he wants and he's exactly what you want. Period. End of story."

"You're probably right…" Blaine conceded, taking another sip of his coffee.

"I _am_ right. I know you, and I know Kurt. And neither of you will be happy without each other."

"I still don't think I'm ready to marry him." Blaine watched as Wes sighed, shaking his head. "Not because of the stuff we've talked about. I just… I love Kurt, but marriage is this big _thing_ and I haven't exactly had the best role models for all of that. And we're only twenty-three… it's not like one of us is dying or something, and I just don't want to rush into anything we aren't ready for…"

"You two have been together for five and a half years, Blaine. And you've been living together for more than three, pretty much living like a married couple. And don't tell me that isn't true, because I've seen it with my own eyes. All you're missing is the governmental paperwork, a couple of wedding bands, and a joint checking account…" Blaine couldn't help but smile, rolling his eyes. "Let me guess… the two of you have already gotten a joint checking account?"

"It makes paying bills easier if we just pool some of our money together in there… we each throw in our half of the rent and utilities, and then add some extra for groceries or whatever we might need to get for the apartment," Blaine explained.

"Like I said, the two of you are already living like a married couple. Would it really be all that bad to just go ahead and take those last couple of steps to make everything official?" Blaine shrugged.

"What if he changes his mind about me?"

"Blaine… he's been with you through multiple surgeries already, and he _knows_ what he's getting himself into by being with you. I think that if he was concerned about any of that, he wouldn't have brought up the idea of marriage."

"Why do you always have to be right?" Blaine asked, sighing and burying his face in his hands at Wes's words. He looked up as the man tapped his hand.

"I know you two, remember? I've seen the two of you in all of your insanity. And trust me, _someone_ has to be the voice of reason."

**LINE**

Blaine walked into the kitchen after class, hopping up onto the countertop behind where Kurt was standing at the stove cooking lunch for the two of them.

"Okay." Blaine smiled as the other man turned around to look at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay what?"

"I'm willing to talk about marriage. But I really want to _talk_ about everything before we actually get engaged or anything like that, because I don't want to rush into anything and I don't want you to end up feeling trapped in the future because you feel like you have to take care of me." Blaine watched as Kurt smiled, shaking his head.

"I'm not going to feel trapped…"

"I still think that we need to sit down and talk about everything properly, actually thinking about marriage when we talk about it. I just don't want to end up like my parents, end up regretting getting married for some reason," Blaine explained. "You have to realize that my model isn't as close to perfect as yours has been. My parents divorced, and they only stayed together as long as they did because I was sick and they didn't want to put that kind of stress on me on top of everything else. It's a shit example, and I _don't_ want to follow it."

"Your parents got married young and for the wrong reasons, Blaine. We may be young, but we're talking about it because we're in love and we want to be together for the rest of our lives… we don't _have_ to get married, but it would be nice to have that kind of stability in the future," Kurt replied. Blaine nodded.

"I didn't mean we had to talk about it _right_ now."

"So let's talk about it while we eat… I don't want to burn our lunch." Blaine nodded.

"That sounds good."


	8. Serious Conversation

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So I started writing this chapter before tonight's episode, and it ended up providing a bit of inspiration for part of the chapter. Enjoy!**

Kurt really wasn't sure what he was going to do. Well, that was only partially true: Kurt knew that _he_ wanted to be the one to propose to Blaine, mostly because he knew that Blaine probably wasn't going to be the one to ever pop the question. Despite all of their conversations on the topic (which had been plentiful thanks to Blaine's sudden feeling of insecurity about their relationship since his diagnosis), Kurt was pretty certain that Blaine wasn't 100% convinced that Kurt wanted to stay with him forever.

"I don't understand why it's so difficult to convince you that I love you." Kurt watched as Blaine looked at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"We've been talking about marriage for a month now, but I still don't get the feeling that you're completely convinced that I love you," Kurt replied.

"I know that you love me, Kurt. Just as much as I love you." Kurt bit down on his bottom lip as Blaine went back to the homework he had been catching up on. Kurt put a hand on top of Blaine's, making the other man look at him again.

"But I can't convince you that I want to be with you for the rest of my life…"

"Because I'm not convinced that I'm worth the hassle," Blaine replied. "You can't talk to me without making sure I'm looking at you first – because even though I understand you better than anyone else, I still miss things you say because my ears are fucked up. You're going to spend so much of your time taking care of me in the future because I'm going to have to have other surgeries. I just don't know why you would be willing to put up with that, knowing that it's going to be that way for the rest of our lives." Kurt sighed, squeezing Blaine's hand.

"Would you be willing to do those things if it were me?" Kurt asked. He watched as a look of confusion passed over Blaine's face.

"Of course! You're worth it… even if you were sick, I don't think I could live without you…" Blaine began.

"Then what makes you think that I don't feel the same way about you?" Kurt asked.

"Because I'm not like you, Kurt… I'm not as amazing as you are…"

"No… you're something completely different. But that doesn't mean you're any less amazing, Blaine. That you aren't worth just as much to me as I seem to be to you. We have so many firsts together. But I want to have all of those lasts with you, too." Kurt watched as Blaine looked down for a moment, shaking his head.

"I don't want to hold you back from anything, Kurt. Ever."

"And you _won't_. Because I don't _want_ to do anything that I can't do with you. We can travel to find good doctors if we end up moving somewhere away from your doctor. I'll do whatever it takes to stay with you, Blaine. There's no sacrifice that's too big… not for you."

"You could have _anyone_ Kurt… remember Chandler?" Kurt couldn't help blushing at the embarrassment of that situation. "I'm damaged goods, and you have fans waiting at stage door for you every night that would _love_ to take my place…"

"But they aren't _you_, Blaine." Kurt watched as his boyfriend nodded.

"I guess I just have a hard time seeing myself the way you see me… all I see are the problems and my flaws, and I can't figure out what it is that you love so much about me." Kurt stood up, holding out his hand to Blaine.

"Come with me."

"Where are we going? I have to finish my homework…" Blaine began. Kurt smiled, shaking his head.

"We're just going into our bedroom. It'll take five minutes, tops. Come on." Kurt took Blaine's hand as the man stood up, leading him into their bedroom to stand in front of the full-length mirror Kurt had hung up next to their bathroom door so that he could make sure his outfits always looked good. Kurt positioned Blaine right in front of it, standing behind the other man so that all that was visible of Kurt was his face. "Tell me what you see that's wrong with you," Kurt said.

"Kurt…" Kurt held Blaine where he was as the man tried to move away from the mirror.

"I'm serious." Kurt watched as Blaine sighed, shaking his head before he looked at the mirror again.

"I see the hearing aids. They're… they're a constant reminder that something is wrong with me, something that will always be with me. And even though I don't actually _see_ them, there are always going to be the scars… and they're going to be worse in the future, the more times they have to cut through them."

"When I see those things, it just reminds me of how strong you are… you've done _so much_, Blaine. You've beaten cancer. You've dealt with all of the problems caused by this disease. And you're still fighting, even when things are _really_ hard," Kurt replied, letting his chin rest on Blaine's shoulder.

"I'm shorter than you are…"

"So? One of us has to be shorter… and I don't really care."

"I'm not perfect…" Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"No one is, Blaine. It isn't about being perfect… it's about being perfect _for_ someone else. And you're perfect for me. That's all that matters." Kurt watched as Blaine smiled slightly, reaching up to stroke Kurt's hair.

"You're screwing with my hair… you're lucky I love you."

"Thank you, Kurt. For doing this for me."

"You needed to know how I see you. I needed you to understand that this wasn't just something I could change my mind about… I can't imagine my life without you. I don't _want_ to imagine my life without you, because I don't ever want to be without you. I _refuse_ to lose you." Kurt smiled as Blaine turned around to face him, pressing a quick kiss against his lips.

"I love you. But unfortunately, I have to go finish my homework… I'm already going to be taking an extra semester to graduate, and I can't afford to get a bad grade on anything right now." Kurt nodded, smiling.

"Okay." Kurt pressed a quick kiss against his boyfriend's cheek before Blaine walked out of their bedroom. Now he knew what he was going to do.


	9. A Night To Remember

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So don't hate me… I decided to make this chapter a bit of a cliffhanger, mostly because I really want to switch POVs at the point where I stopped. So, I hope you enjoy PART ONE.**

Blaine closed his eyes, starting to get frustrated over the fact that he couldn't get his tie quite right. It was an important day and he wanted to look nice – after all, it was his anniversary with Kurt. Not of the day they started dating – that date was still a few months away, thanks to Blaine's stupidity in high school – but the anniversary of the day they'd met on the circular staircase in Dalton's entry hall. And to be honest, Blaine wasn't even sure that Kurt had remembered what day it was because he'd still been fast asleep when Blaine had left that morning, and as it was a matinee day he'd been gone before Blaine got back from classes. It was frustrating, because Blaine had really wanted to spend time with the other man.

Blaine turned quickly as he felt a hand on his shoulder; he'd forgotten that Wes was there with him. "You always do it wrong… you would think that after two years of prep school you would know how to tie a proper Windsor knot. Especially since you can tie a bow tie."

"They're all pre-tied. And I never undid the knot in my Dalton ties after I got them done properly… I would just loosen them enough to get them off, and then hang them up like that," Blaine admitted with a slightly embarrassed smile. "Thank you… I knew that I wouldn't be able to do this without you."

"_I_ can't believe you're doing this… you know Kurt's going to kill you if he's been planning something like this and you ruin it for him," Wes replied.

"I think he's been too busy to plan anything. And once again I've been clueless and made things more difficult than they really had to be because I didn't get it. So I'm going to prove to him that I get it… that I want this just as much as he does now that I've gotten over all of my reasons for not wanting to do it. So I'm going to the theatre, and as soon as he comes off stage at the end of the show tonight I'm going to surprise him." Blaine watched as Wes smiled.

"He's going to be shocked…"

"I just want him to be happy," Blaine replied as Wes finally finished adjusting his tie.

"He will be… you know he wants to marry you more than anything else in the world. And he's probably going to freak out and not be able to answer you for a while, knowing Kurt. Because trust me… _no one_ expected that you would be the one to pop the question. Not after everything that's happened in the past few years. You're the one that gets comfortable with the status quo and doesn't want things to change, not until you _see_ how the change is better."

"I get it… I don't like change. You can stop with the lecture now," Blaine replied, smiling slightly. He wasn't upset about the fact that Wes was telling him all of this, because it was true. Blaine wasn't one to make changes until someone actually _asked_ him to change something. "I just… I want to make sure that Kurt knows that I love him. And I know that he'd know, even if I didn't do this. But I want to make a gesture, to show that I _mean_ it."

"I'm pretty sure he's going to get that message," Wes replied. "You should hurry up… you don't want to miss the beginning of the show." Blaine nodded, grabbing the jacket that went with his suit and looked into the mirror one last time, making sure that everything looked perfect. The last thing he wanted to do was show up looking less than his best for Kurt. "You look fine… now go."

Getting to the theatre was annoying, because there was a lot of traffic. And Blaine should have known to expect it; after all, the theatre district got seriously crowded at night when it was almost time for the shows to start. Blaine checked his pocket as soon as he got out of the cab, making sure that the little black box was still there. It would be awful to lose the box. Blaine had spent a little too much on the ring, if he was being completely honest. But the ring he'd found was perfect for Kurt, and that was what was most important.

Blaine had purposely chosen a seat relatively far away from the stage – but not so far that he couldn't see what the actors were saying. Even though seeing the show wasn't his main goal, Blaine still wanted to know what was going on because he knew that Kurt would ask how he'd liked it once he knew that Blaine had seen it.

The longer the show went on, the more nervous Blaine got about what he was about to do. He knew that he loved Kurt, and the longer they lived together the more convinced he was that he wanted to stay with the other man forever. But despite all of their conversations on the subject, Blaine was terrified that Kurt would tell him no. Which was ridiculous, really, because Blaine knew that Kurt was planning on proposing to him eventually.

By the time the show was over, Blaine really wasn't sure that he'd understood what was going on. Even though the music was loud, Blaine had trouble following the show simply because he didn't really know what the actors were singing or saying and he'd chosen a seat that was a little too far away to fully understand what was being said. But Blaine could see why the show had been so successful so far. Even though he didn't get everything, Blaine could still see that the show was _really_ good.

Getting backstage wasn't all that difficult for Blaine; he'd gotten in touch with some of Kurt's castmates to help him with all of this, because he knew that he wouldn't be able to do it on his own. The hardest part was wandering through the maze of the backstage area, trying to find Kurt's dressing room. Finally he found it, smiling at the silly gold star someone had hung on his boyfriend's door. It was ridiculous and goofy and kind of perfect for Kurt's personality when he was on stage.

The door opened before Blaine even had a chance to knock, and Blaine smiled at how startled Kurt looked to see him.

"Blaine? What are you doing here?" Blaine smiled as Kurt launched at him to give him a hug. Blaine was thankful that Kurt was happy to see him.

"I've missed you… and I wanted to take you out for dinner tonight," Blaine replied. He watched as Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you have class in the morning?"

"My professor's going out of town for a conference, so both of my classes tomorrow are cancelled," Blaine replied with a smile. "Come on… I know you're tired, but we won't be out too late. I just want to do something special for you tonight, because I know you're working really hard right now." Blaine smiled as Kurt pulled away.

"You do realize that we're going to have to go through the crowd outside, right?"

"I know. Which is why I don't have a reservation, just a plan," Blaine replied. He watched as Kurt nodded and walked back into his dressing room, grabbing his coat and coming back out into the hall.

Walking out into the crowd at the stage door was an entirely different experience than what Blaine had expected. It was loud and there were camera flashes coming from every direction and people bumping into each other and pushing each other on the opposite side of the barricades. Blaine chose to just put his hands in his pockets and walk out towards the end of the barricades, waiting for Kurt to talk to everyone and take pictures and sign autographs and all of the other things that were part of being sort of famous. It was sort of exciting, seeing Kurt so happy and enthusiastic about this part of his job – the part that really wasn't required.

"I'm sorry, guys… I have to go!" Kurt finally said, smiling and waving at everyone before walking over to Blaine and pushing him towards the cab that had been called for them at some point; Blaine really hadn't known there would be a cab, but it was sort of perfect because Blaine had been planning on getting a cab for the two of them to begin with. Blaine quickly told the cabbie the address, before leaning back and putting an arm around Kurt's shoulders. "So… where are we going?"

"You'll see," Blaine replied with a smile.

"But it's so late…"

"It's New York… you know everything stays open late." Blaine leaned over and pressed a kiss against the other man's cheek. "Just don't worry about it, okay? This is my treat for you. You just have fun and enjoy tonight."

Because it was so late, the restaurant was fairly quiet. Which Blaine was thankful for, because he didn't want to make a huge scene with this proposal. Blaine just wanted to do something special for Kurt, something to show him how much Blaine loved him. And making a scene really wasn't necessary. The issue, of course, was that Blaine didn't really have an exact plan for what he was going to do. It wasn't until Kurt got up to go to the bathroom that Blaine figured out what he was going to do. Blaine pulled the box out of his pocked, putting it on Kurt's plate and waiting for the man to come back.


	10. The Proposal

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: Okay, so I know that this chapter is short, but I didn't want to leave you hanging for too long and I didn't have a ton of time to write because I still have to write about 6 more pages for the paper I have due on Saturday when I go take my final. Which is a LOT of work to do! So enjoy… and I'll see you again in a few days!**

Kurt looked at himself in the mirror, taking a deep breath as he attempted to flatten his hair and make himself look a bit more presentable. He'd been so flustered by the fact that Blaine had shown up at the theatre, he'd forgotten to finish fixing his hair before he left the theatre and now that he had a minute to actually think he was horrified that he'd gone anywhere looking like this. It had been sticking up in random clumps and just generally _not_ looking appropriate fro such a nice restaurant at all. Not that he looked like he should be in such a nice restaurant; Kurt hadn't gotten any warning about this little excursion, so he hadn't been wearing anything nearly as nice as Blaine's suit.

As he started thinking about it, Kurt suddenly realized that something was going on. Blaine had something planned, and Kurt was pretty sure that it was going to involve a proposal. Kurt pulled out his phone quickly, dialing his best friend's phone number.

"_Hello?_"

"I'm sorry, Rachel… I didn't wake you up, did I?" Kurt asked as he heard the tiredness in the woman's voice.

"_Yes, you actually did. What's so important it couldn't wait until morning?_"

"I think Blaine is about to propose." Kurt had to pull the phone away from his ear as Rachel squealed into his ear.

"_Why are you calling me? GO! Give the boy a chance to propose!_"

"But…"

"_Kurt Hummel… you are NOT having second thoughts about this. You've spent weeks trying to convince Blaine that you want to marry him, why are you questioning it now?_"

"I'm not questioning whether I want to marry him or not… but I'm worried that he might feel forced into this because I've waited so long to actually do it. But I just wanted to make sure _he_ wasn't going to change his mind again…"

"_Kurt. He isn't changing his mind, clearly. Go let the boy propose to you already… let him take that pressure off you. Because I know you, Kurt, and if you were going to be the one to propose you would stress over making it perfect for weeks and weeks. So go! He's probably starting to worry about you being gone for so long…_" Kurt sighed, knowing that Rachel was right.

"Okay… thanks, Rachel."

"_The only thanks I need is for you to go tell that boy YES. Now go get engaged and let me go back to bed,_" Rachel replied. Kurt smiled.

"You know you aren't going to sleep… not until you've told the whole world…"

"_I promise not to call anyone until I've heard for sure from you that you're engaged. Now you'd better go let Blaine actually ask you before he loses his nerve_."

As soon as he hung up the phone, Kurt turned back to the mirror and made sure that he looked presentable, before making his way out of the bathroom and back to the table.

"I was starting to think you'd fallen in…" Kurt smiled at Blaine's comment, shaking his head.

"No… you rushed me out of the theatre so quickly I needed to go fix my hair," Kurt replied with a smile. "I can't believe you let me walk out with my hair looking like that… it's embarrassing," Kurt teased.

"I didn't notice… I thought you looked fine," Blaine replied with a smile as Kurt sat down. It wasn't until Kurt was seated that he noticed the small black box sitting on top of the plate in front of him. Kurt smiled, reaching out to touch the box before looking back up at Blaine, smiling.

"Are you…?"

"Asking if you'll marry me?" Blaine asked. "Yes… yes I am." Kurt smiled, opening the box to look at the fairly simple band, pulling it out before he realized that there were tiny diamonds all around the edges.

"Blaine… it's gorgeous…" Kurt began, immediately slipping the ring onto his left hand.

"I take it your answer is yes?" Kurt looked up at his boyfriend, nodding excitedly.

"Of course the answer is yes! I'm just… I'm shocked that you did this before I got a chance to do it…" Kurt replied. He leaned over the table, pressing a quick kiss against Blaine's lips. "I need to call Dad and Carole…"

"I called earlier today and asked your dad if it was okay… he told met to tell you not to call tonight if it's too late," Blaine replied. Kurt shook his head, amazed that his boyfriend had managed to plan something like this without Kurt figuring it out first. "I just realized that I'd been stupid about all of this for too long… I wanted to make sure you knew that I really do love you, and that I really do want to marry you. So I thought that actually being the one to propose would be the best way to tell you that I'm ready."

"You didn't have to do it…" Kurt began.

"I _wanted_ to do it. I realized that you had been spending so much time trying to convince me that you weren't going to leave when I should have known that without having to be told. You've stuck by me through so many things – things that would have sent someone else running. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was being stupid and I needed to get my head out of my ass and look at the bigger picture – the fact that I don't want to ever be without you." Kurt smiled, nodding.

"I love you so much…" he began.

"I love you, too."


	11. Early Mornings

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So, chapter length is sort of influenced by the fact that I'm exhausted at the moment. For the SECOND time this week, I had to get up early to go to a 9 AM exam (I normally get up at 9, so this is a big change!), and then almost immediately go to work afterwards.**

Blaine was kind of surprised at just how happy he was when he woke up the next morning. Sure, he had to get up and go to class and be without Kurt all day. But he woke up in his boyfriend's arms. Scratch that – his fiancée. Blaine still wasn't sure that he would be able to get used to that word, despite the fact that he had been the one to actually propose. Blaine leaned in and pressed a kiss against the other man's soft lips as Kurt slept. It was a little difficult for Blaine to think about tearing himself away from Kurt's arms; all he wanted was to get started on spending the rest of his life with the beautiful brunette man he'd woken up next to.

Blaine raised an eyebrow as he saw Kurt mutter something that Blaine couldn't quite make out; it was still a little too early for the other man, so Blaine really wasn't all that surprised that Kurt forgot about his hearing issues. "What was that?"

"I don't want you to go…" Blaine smiled as Kurt tightened his grip around Blaine's torso, curling up so that his face was against Blaine's neck and making it that much more difficult for Blaine to leave.

"I have to go… I have class…" Blaine rolled his eyes, reaching to move Kurt's face so that he could see it when the man muttered something into his neck. "Kurt… I can't hear you."

"Skip."

"Kurt Hummel… are _you_ encouraging me to skip my class this morning?"

"Yes… I want you to stay in bed with me today, since it's my day off," Kurt commented, opening his eyes. Blaine smiled, leaning in and pressing another kiss on his fiancée's lips. "Besides, we need to find you a ring, too. I don't want anyone thinking they can hit on my man now that we're engaged." Blaine laughed, shaking his head.

"You know you have nothing to worry about, Kurt… I'm all yours. I've always been yours."

"But I really do want to get you a ring. Something special, like what you got for me." Blaine smiled, taking Kurt's hand and squeezing it gently.

"You don't _have_ to do that… I don't need a ring to know that I'm madly in love with you and that I'm going to marry you," Blaine replied.

"Well neither did I, but I still love having it. And I want to do something special for you, the way you did something special for me." Blaine smiled.

"You do so many special things for me… the fact that you're just here is special, because you don't _have_ to stick around, knowing that you're going to spend so much time taking care of me."

"And I do that because I love you… I don't think I could live without you. But a ring like the one you gave me is something _really_ special. It's a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing…"

"I _hope_ that isn't the only ring I ever get to buy you… I want to get you a real wedding band when we actually get married," Blaine interrupted. He watched as Kurt smiled and shook his head.

"It's not exactly the same thing. Besides, it would look strange for me to have two rings and for you to only have one… I was thinking it might be nice for me to get a ring for you to wear now, while we're engaged, and then when we get our wedding bands we can get matching ones. Sort of a symbolic thing…" Blaine smiled, leaning in and pressing kisses against Kurt's forehead and then the other man's lips.

"I actually really like that idea…"

"Then it's settled. We go back to sleep now, and then this afternoon we can go look for rings…"

"I thought you were going to pick my ring out," Blaine replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay, so I'll do it tomorrow while you're in class. But I still think that you should stay here and cuddle with me today. Maybe we could _celebrate_ our engagement in a little while, once we've gotten some more rest." Blaine smirked.

"I thought we already did that last night…"

"Maybe we could do it again, then," Kurt replied with a wink. Blaine couldn't help laughing at his fiancée.

"As fun as that sounds, I think the most important thing we need to do today is make a few phone calls and let everyone know that we're engaged," Blaine commented.

"Well, Rachel sort of already knows, which means that Finn definitely knows and by now so do my dad and Carole…" It was Blaine's turn to raise an eyebrow. "I… sort of figured out what you were doing last night when I went to the bathroom, and I called Rachel freaking out because I was sort of afraid that you might only be proposing because you thought it was what _I_ wanted you to do. And she was quick to remind me that getting married was exactly what I wanted and that I shouldn't be questioning your motives because you love me just as much as I love you."

"She's right about that one…" Blaine began.

"Anyway, she already knows that you were proposing last night. And although she promised not to call and tell anyone we were engaged, I'm sure she told Finn and he can't keep his mouth shut about things like this, so there's no telling who knows at this point."

Blaine couldn't help but smile. "Well… at least that's less explaining we'll have to do. Besides, I'm so happy I want the whole world to know that I'm the luckiest man in the world."

"So, can I just sit here and cuddle with you for a little bit longer, or are you going to be a stick in the mud and insist upon going to class this morning?" Kurt asked.

"I suppose I can afford to miss one day of class. I've been there every other day so far, and it's November."

"One day won't hurt… not really," Kurt reasoned. Blaine nodded, sighing contentedly.

"You're right. And after last night, I think I could use the extra rest. I'm not sure I would be able to keep track of what's being said in my classes anyway. It's kind of a lot of work trying to make sense of what some of my professors are saying in their lectures."

"Well there you go… you _need_ a mental health day. We all have to take one every once in a while." Blaine let his hand slide down Kurt's chest, playing with the hem of the other man's undershirt.

"So… do we rest first, or do we celebrate again?"


	12. Family Holidays

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So I apologize about the delay on this one; I actually wrote the whole chapter about three days ago, hated it, and rewrote the entire thing from scratch. Originally it was a conversation between Kurt and Rachel, but I decided that it really wasn't going to help the story if Kurt started questioning whether or not he and Blaine should get married – especially since it was his idea! Plus, it came across as Kurt trying to convince himself that he wanted to get married, and I didn't like that at all. So I rewrote it, and it turned into this (which is MUCH better!). Enjoy!**

If there was one thing Kurt Hummel was VERY thankful for, it was Christmas vacation. While the theatres still operated through much of the holidays, it did at least mean that he got more time with his fiancée because Blaine was out of school for almost a month and could pretty much do whatever he wanted. The unfortunate part was that part of their plans involved hosting both of Blaine's parents for the actual holiday – three days that Blaine would spend mostly trying to put out the little fires that were bound to erupt when those two were together and they _didn't_ have to focus on Blaine's health.

"Why does it take your mother so long in the bathroom in the morning? _Some_ of us also need to get in there…"

"Dad, just use the Master… it's time for Kurt to wake up anyway," Blaine replied, directing his father towards the master bedroom for what felt like the hundredth time even though it had only been two days. Blaine really didn't understand why his father never seemed to need the bathroom until his mother was in there, but it had been happening over and over again.

"It's the principle of the thing… she shouldn't be taking so much time in there when there are four people and only two bathrooms…" Blaine sighed, rolling his eyes as soon as his father was out of sight on his way to the Master bathroom.

"He's lucky we _have_ two bathrooms… Dad and Carole are staying with Finn and Rachel, and they only have _one_ bathroom for four people." Blaine smiled as he just barely picked up his fiancée's comment when the man wandered out of their bedroom, rubbing his eyes. "And there are two women staying there, which means it's going to be even more difficult for Finn and Dad to get time in there…"

"I vote after this year, we start alternating which parent we invite to which holiday… I don't think I can handle another year of having _both_ of them over here for three days or more…" Blaine muttered, praying that his voice was low enough that neither of his parents would hear him. He'd discovered recently that it was really difficult to have "whispered" conversations with Kurt so that other people in the apartment didn't overhear what they were talking about. It had already made for more than one awkward moment, especially given the fact that Blaine had sort of been discussing what he was planning on doing to Kurt when they were alone in the apartment again while both sets of parents were in their living room. It wasn't Blaine's fault that he couldn't tell how loud he was being, but now he had a feeling that Finn was never going to let him forget that one. Not to mention that Burt had been giving him strange looks ever since that conversation had taken place.

"I'm okay with that… and I think your parents would probably appreciate it too, since it would mean they wouldn't have to fight with one another," Kurt replied. Blaine had a feeling that his original comment had been a bit too loud since Kurt's whisper was so low he wouldn't have understood if he hadn't been able to see the man's lips.

"I've got to get this whole surreptitious conversation thing down again, don't I?"

"I'm sure most of our family members would probably appreciate it," Kurt replied. Blaine rolled his eyes at the man's smirk. "You'll get it eventually… especially once the hearing aid levels are sorted out completely. Until then, I think pretty much everyone but Finn is polite enough to let it slide, since you can't exactly control it."

"I'm never going to hear the end of that from him, am I? I thought he was uncomfortable with the idea of the two of us having sex…"

"I think my step-brother can get used to just about anything if it means he'll be able to turn it into a joke. Even gay sex." Blaine sighed, reaching out to Kurt and pulling the man into a hug.

"I hate being the butt of Finn's jokes…"

"I know. But he'll eventually forget all about it and leave you alone. Well, at least until you give him something else to laugh about." Blaine sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his head against his fiancée's shoulder for a moment.

"I'm just… I'm tired of being hard of hearing. Of knowing that I still might end up going deaf in a few years, and then _really_ be fucked when it comes to trying to actually get a job and support myself. I don't _want_ things to be this way… the constant worries about my health, the stress of trying to be normal even though I know it's never going to be possible. Feeling like I'm sticking you with all of these problems that you shouldn't have to worry about…" Blaine was surprised as Kurt pushed him away, looking him straight in the eye.

"Stop. That is the one thing you are _never_ allowed to think… I'm not 'stuck' with anything by being with you." Blaine watched as Kurt grabbed his left hand, making sure Blaine could see the simple silver band Kurt had picked out for him. "I want to marry you just as much as you want to marry me, remember? I'm not going to let you think that this is anything other than what it really is – a commitment I'm making to you because I _love_ you. Not because I feel any kind of obligation to stay with you. Understand?" Blaine sighed, closing his eyes and nodding.

"I love you, too. It's just hard to remember why _you_ love _me_ sometimes."

"You may not remember this, Blaine, but you saved me. You showed me that there were people in this world, other than just my dad, who would have my back when I wanted to just be myself. That there's nothing _wrong_ with who I am – that the wrong thing is the way other people choose to react to the fact that I'm different. That it's actually possible for someone other than my family to really love me for who I am, without wanting to change me in some way. That was all you." Blaine smiled as Kurt squeezed his hands. "Now, we need to get started on breakfast because I'm starving and I'm not sure I want to deal with your father when he's really hungry if he's already _that_ upset about the bathroom situation…" Blaine couldn't help but chuckle.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Waffles?"

"Please."


	13. Alone At Last

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: Alright, so I decided some cute fluffiness would be appropriate here (although there's a bit of the plot thrown in there as well – it'll make sense later). Hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

"I could stay a few extra days…"

"Mrs. Anderson, we're really fine," Kurt replied, gently ushering his future mother-in-law towards the security line. While he didn't really mind having her around, after a long weekend of having both of Blaine's parents in their apartment Kurt was _really_ ready to be alone with his fiancée without anyone else around.

"Yeah, Mom… we're doing good," Blaine added. Kurt smiled, putting an arm around his fiancée's waist. "You have your own life to live in Ohio. And as much as I love having you here, Kurt and I sort of need some space and some time to ourselves."

"You're right… I need to give you boys some time alone. But if you need me to do _anything_, you just let me know and I can be here on the next plane…" Kurt watched as the other man smiled and shook his head.

"I think we'll be okay," Kurt replied, giving the woman a quick hug and watching as Blaine did the same. Finally, the two of them were standing alone on their side of the security line. "I was starting to think your mother wasn't going to leave us this time…"

"I know… I think she _really_ wants to move closer to us. Since I moved out, she really doesn't have _that_ much to keep her in Ohio…" Kurt just smiled, wrapping an arm around his fiancée's waist and starting out to grab a cab home. "I'm tired… let's go home and relax, since you have the day off."

"I like the sound of that plan."

**LINE**

Kurt hadn't realized that Blaine had actually _meant_ that he wanted to go home and actually relax – normally, a comment like that was code for something much more entertaining. But Kurt had to admit that it was strange to watch the other man simply sleep through their afternoon together when they really only got this kind of time occasionally.

"You're watching me sleep…" Kurt smiled as Blaine opened his eyes, smiling up at him. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't worry about it… are you feeling better?" Kurt watched as his fiancée shrugged.

"I'm still tired… I feel like I've been sleeping all the time lately."

"You must just not be sleeping very well," Kurt replied, leaning down to press a kiss against the other man's forehead. He raised an eyebrow as he pulled back. "You seem a little warm… I'm going to get the thermomenter."

"I'm okay, Kurt… I'm just tired…" Kurt ignored his fiancée's protests, getting up and hurrying into the bathroom to pull the ear thermometer out of the cupboard. He was back with the thing in Blaine's ear before the man could protest. "This is really pointless…" Kurt glanced at the number on the inside of the device before showing it to Blaine.

"My friend the thermometer begs to differ… you're just over 100," Kurt replied. He leaned over and pressed a kiss against the other man's forehead. "You're staying in bed while I make some chicken soup and take care of you."

"But it's your day off…" Blaine began. Kurt shook his head.

"You don't get to protest this one, Blaine. You're sick, and you're staying in bed until your temperature goes down to something more normal. And I'm not taking no for an answer. I'll even bring in a movie for us to watch… I think I still have _Up!_ on disk somewhere, and I know it's one of your favorites."

"You're going to watch it with me, right?" Kurt smiled, nodding.

"Sure… just let me get us something to eat." Kurt hurried into the kitchen, heating up some soup and making some hot tea for his fiancée – something Kurt had learned Blaine loved when he wasn't feeling well. Kurt was just thankful he'd invested in a proper teakettle, because it made it a lot easier to get everything made quickly. It didn't take long for Kurt to be walking back into their bedroom with the movie and a tray full of food for the two of them, but he was sort of surprised that Blaine wasn't in the bed where he'd left him. "Blaine?"

Kurt wasn't really all that surprised when he didn't get a response right away; Blaine's hearing aids were still sitting on the nightstand. Kurt carefully set the tray down on the bed, walking over to the bathroom, gently pushing the door open. He wasn't sure if Blaine noticed him as he walked in, so Kurt flicked the light switch once so that Blaine would look that direction. "I'm going back to bed in just a minute. I just wanted to brush my teeth…" Kurt raised an eyebrow at the red tinge to the toothpaste that Blaine spit out. Kurt put a hand on the other man's shoulders, making him look in the right direction.

"How long has that been happening?" Kurt asked, pointing towards the sink. He watched as Blaine shrugged.

"I just brush too hard sometimes… it's no big deal." Kurt just sighed, shaking his head and ushering his fiancée back towards the bed.

"Get back to bed… you need to get some rest," Kurt replied. He picked the tray he'd brought back up, making sure nothing spilt before he put on the movie and moved to sit back down next to his fiancée as the man put his hearing aids back on and turned on the subtitles. "So, I have chicken noodle soup and PG Tips… with sugar and almond milk because dairy is a _really_ bad idea when you're running a fever."

"You're so good to me," Blaine replied. Kurt just smiled, pressing a kiss against Blaine's temple as the man took a sip of his tea.

"I've got to keep you healthy… you won't feel like marrying me if you're sick, and I _am_ marrying you."

"We still need to set a date for that…"

"I was thinking summer. Somewhere cool, though, not here in the city… I really hate the summer weather around here," Kurt replied. "Maybe up somewhere near Albany or Rochester. A bed and breakfast…"

"That would be nice. Just something small… our parents, Finn and Rachel, some close friends. I don't really want anything huge or over the top. The most important thing is for the two of us to get married and be together forever." Kurt smiled, wrapping his arm around Blaine's shoulders and playing with the man's curls. "Think we can pull it together this summer? We've been together for so long, I don't think we _need_ a long engagement. And I really don't want to wait any longer than I have to. Than _we_ have to."

"We'll start planning as soon as you're feeling better."

"How about as soon as the movie's over? I don't feel _that_ bad, and it'll be nice to have something to think about while I'm resting," Blaine replied.

"Okay. As soon as the movie's over."


	14. Back to the Doctor

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So don't hate me; I've been working on getting through my 100 Drabbles challenge before the end of the month (and I finished last night!). But I've got another chapter for you!**

"You've been running a fever for a week, and you just seem to be getting worse instead of better… Blaine, I really think that it's time for you to see a doctor," Kurt commented, putting the thermometer back on the nightstand after he read the other man's temperature.

"I don't want to move… besides, it's just the flu, and the doctor isn't going to be able to give me anything to make me feel any better." Kurt sighed, sitting down and running a hand through his fiancée's hair.

"Blaine, please… you have bruises that you can't explain, you've been tired for a while now, and you have the flu even though it's not flu season. At least go let the doctor take a look at you. I'll go with you, if that's what you need… but I'm worried about you." Kurt watched as Blaine rolled over, closing his eyes and sighing as though he was about to try and fall asleep despite the fact that he was still wearing his hearing aids.

"I'll go… but I think it's a waste of time. What can the doctor do for the flu at this point?"

* * *

"It's not the flu…" Kurt looked up as the doctor walked back into the exam room holding Blaine's chart. He could see the color draining out of his fiancée's face, and Kurt had to admit that he was worried about the news they were about to receive. "He may have had the flu, but he should have been past that by now. I don't know what this is for sure, but I want to run some more tests. You said he's a cancer survivor, correct?"

"Yes… medulloblastoma when he was a child," Kurt replied, squeezing Blaine's hand. "Do you think it's something related to that?" The doctor sighed, and Kurt knew that he'd guessed what the doctor was thinking.

"Normally, if someone was going to develop cancer because of cancer treatments it would occur much sooner after remission. But it isn't unheard of for it to happen much later." Kurt nodded, turning to look at Blaine. The man's face was impassive, as though he didn't have a clue about what was going on. But Kurt knew that it was just Blaine's way of avoiding breaking down in the middle of the doctor's office; Kurt had seen the kind of mental turmoil that a potential cancer diagnosis could have on the other man, and Blaine hated letting anyone see him like that.

"So… what do we do now?" Kurt asked.

"I'm going to have the nurse come back in and draw some blood to send to the lab. After that, it's just a matter of waiting until the bloodwork comes back. Until then, we just have to continue treating the symptoms he's having… primarily Advil, and decongestants as necessary. If his symptoms get any worse, or if he develops anything new you'll need to bring him back in, but other than that there really isn't anything we can do until the bloodwork comes back." Kurt nodded.

When they were alone again, Kurt turned to look at Blaine. He reached up and brushed away a single tear that had started to slide down Blaine's face. "I wish he would talk to _me_, instead of passing on all of the information through you," Blaine commented, not even bothering to move.

"I think he just assumes that you don't hear as well as you really do, since I'm here with you," Kurt replied. "Are you okay? I know it's scary for you to think about…"

"Just stop, please," Blaine interrupted. Kurt just nodded, shutting his mouth. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to _think_ about it. I just… I want to get the blood drawn and go home and get some more sleep. That's it."

"Blaine…"

"I've had false alarms before, Kurt. And all I'm going to do until the test results come back is worry about whether or not they're going to tell me I'm dying. And I really don't want to waste time on this any more… it's already stolen almost two years of my life from me. Until I know something is wrong, I don't think I can think about it. Or worry about it, or whatever. I'm done letting this control my life." Kurt nodded, standing up and pressing a kiss against the man's lips.

"Okay. No talking about it unless we have to. But…"

"No buts. And don't call my mom… don't worry her until we know that something is actually wrong, because she'll freak out and come back here for no reason and I really don't want her to stress about all of this…"

"Blaine…"

"You're not arguing with me on this, Kurt. Please… this is what I need to do right now. This is how I need to cope with the idea. And I need you to support me in this one, because no matter what happens I need to know that you're with me," Blaine explained. Kurt nodded, wrapping his arms around the other man's shoulders again.

"Of course. I'm with you to the end. No matter what happens." The dark-haired man smiled at him as the nurse walked in. Kurt stepped back to let her do her job, inserting the needle into Blaine's arms and attaching tube after tube until they were filled with blood and she could pull the needle out, letting Blaine apply pressure to the spot to stop the flow. Kurt watched and waited as the woman labeled the vials before checking Blaine's arm.

"It isn't stopping…" Blaine muttered. Kurt couldn't actually look at the blood coming out of the man's arm, but he could see it soaking through the first gauze pad the nurse had placed over the small hole.

"Sometimes it takes a while…" the woman commented, giving him more gauze to press against his arm. "I'm going to get these samples on their way… keep pressure on that until I get back."

"What if it doesn't stop bleeding?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We'll make it stop." Kurt had to admit that he wasn't comforted by the nurse's comment, but there really wasn't anything he could do or say about it without worrying Blaine. And that was the last thing he wanted to do.

"You're getting even more worried now, aren't you?" Blaine asked, once the woman had left the room. Kurt nodded; even though he didn't want to worry his fiancée, he also didn't want to lie to him, either.

"I don't ever want anything bad to happen to you. And you have to admit, this is bad. There's no way to say that it _isn't_ something bad going on. Whatever happens, you're sick. And it may not be something horrible, or it could be something deadly. But I'm telling you, it's not good," Kurt replied.

"I know… but it's just not something I'm ready to think about yet. I don't think I can deal with that idea, not until I know for sure."


	15. Testing

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So, the research for this chapter kind of made me feel sick to my stomach, hence why I don't go into details over exactly **_**what**_** the test entails (if it involves drilling into bones, it freaks me out – kind of crazy considering the fact that I have quite a few screws and anchors drilled into my vertebrae due to scoliosis). But yeah, here's my next chapter!**

Blaine couldn't take it any more; he felt as though he'd been waiting for the doctor to come explain his test results for ages, even if it had only been ten minutes. He was sick of waiting, especially since Kurt couldn't be there to wait with him because of work.

"Mr. Anderson?" Blaine looked up as he heard the sound of the door closing. The doctor standing in front of him was unfamiliar, and Blaine felt fairly sure that it was bad news. "I'm Dr. Robert Hitchens… Dr. Johnson asked me to come discuss your test results…"

"It's bad news, isn't it?" Blaine asked, sitting back down in one of the chairs in front of the doctor's desk. He missed the first part of the doctor's response, as the man's back was turned to him. "I'm sorry… I'm hard of hearing, and I can't understand you if you aren't facing me."

"I apologize… I was saying that we need to run further tests. I want to take more blood for another CBC, as well as a bone marrow biopsy…"

"Why?" Blaine asked, confused. "They've done so many blood tests already… why do you want to do it again? And why do you need bone marrow?"

"The only way to confirm a diagnosis of leukemia is to locate the cells in the bone marrow… all of the blood tests indicate that it is a likely diagnosis, but because of variations in cell levels we need to have multiple results to be sure." Blaine nodded. He didn't fully understand, but he knew that this man knew what he was talking about. "I'd like to get the biopsy done as quickly as possible… the results take several days to come back, and we need to know as quickly as possible so that we can start treating you for whatever it is…"

"I'm out of school for a couple more days…" Blaine began.

"I'll have my nurse check the schedule and see when she can fit you in. I'd really like to do this sooner rather than later." Blaine nodded as the man left the room, sort of surprised when he came back less than a minute later with a nurse. "We can squeeze you in this afternoon, if you're willing to wait. I know it's last minute…"

"Okay." Blaine was sick of waiting for test results; he just wanted to _know_ what was going on for a change.

It was a rush of paperwork to read and fill out, as well as information to go over about the risks of the procedure, what he would need to do after it was over to take care of himself, and what things he needed to look out for over the next few days – a list that was sort of frightening if Blaine was being honest.

Blaine didn't even really remember the biopsy itself thanks to a dose of Valium the nurse gave him prior to taking him into the room for the procedure. He knew that he'd been awake, of course, but once the medicine's effects wore off the only reason he knew it had happened was the bandage on his backside and the dull pain he'd been told to take some ibuprofen for as needed.

Blaine camped out on the couch when he got back to the apartment, partially because he didn't think it was right to go back to bed so early in the day and partially because he _wanted_ Kurt to wake him up when the man got home from work, even though Blaine knew it was going to be late. He didn't care; he just wanted to be able to cuddle with his fiancée, to have someone tell him that everything was going to be okay, that the tests would all turn out right in the end and that he would be able to go back to school the next week and everything would be fine.

* * *

Kurt was sort of surprised to find the lights on when he got home; usually Blaine just left the light over the stove turned on so that Kurt could see to get around the apartment without waking him up by turning on the lights. It had been that way ever since Blaine's last surgery, because his other senses had gotten stronger since Blaine had lost his hearing. It was such a surprise that it took Kurt a moment to realize that Blaine was crashed out on the sofa, sleeping with his hearing aids still on. Kurt smiled, shaking his head and walking over to the man who woke up, wincing, as soon as Kurt sat down next to him.

"What's wrong? What hurts?" Kurt asked.

"Kurt? I think the batteries on these things are dead." Kurt watched as his fiancée removed the devices before looking back at his face. "What did you say?"

"I asked you what hurt… you winced when the couch moved, after I sat down…" Kurt watched as Blaine sighed, shaking his head.

"I had that doctor's appointment this morning… I saw a different doctor, and he wanted to do more tests," Blaine replied. Kurt raised an eyebrow as the man pulled back the waistband of his pants to reveal a bandage. "He did a bone marrow biopsy. It's just going to be sore for a few days… they said I could remove the bandage in the morning."

"God… Blaine, you should have called me. I would have come home to take care of you…" Kurt watched as Blaine shook his head, closing his eyes again.

"No. You've missed enough work lately. I don't want you to get fired because of me… I'd rather ask my mom to come back and help out than have you get into trouble." Kurt leaned down and pressed a kiss against Blaine's forehead. "Have you eaten? I'm kind of hungry, and I can…"

Kurt stood up before the man could finish, making him open his eyes again. "I'm going to make some pasta. Do you need anything?" Kurt watched as Blaine shook his head, closing his eyes again.

Kurt's thoughts were racing as he went into the kitchen and started making the simple pasta dish he'd mentioned. He felt awful for not bothering to call and check up on Blaine earlier in the day, when he'd _known_ that Blaine had a doctor's appointment. Kurt couldn't help but feel guilty, wondering whether or not his fiancée had needed someone to help him earlier and had been alone – if that was why Blaine hadn't eaten anything in a while. Technically Kurt knew that it could have been some kind of medication, or just sheer exhaustion from the emotional toll this was taking on Blaine's body. But he still couldn't shake the feeling that he should have _been_ there to do something for the other man. As he was cooking, Kurt couldn't help but wonder whether or not Blaine had said anything to his parents about all of this yet; the boy was still not feeling well, and clearly his doctors were worried about him. But for some reason, Blaine seemed as though he didn't want to worry his parents – something that confused Kurt to no end.

"Can you hand me a glass?" Kurt looked up from the pot as he heard Blaine's question.

"I can get whatever you need…"

"I just need a glass to get some water. They said I should take Advil for the pain, and I was just going to take one before we eat so that it'll kick in before we're ready to go to bed." Kurt nodded, handing the man a glass and watching as Blaine quickly took the medication. "I'm going to go change the batteries in my hearing aids while that finishes." Kurt watched the way the other man sort of limped back towards their bedroom, wondering exactly how much pain the other man was really in. Kurt decided right then that if Blaine wasn't willing to let his parents know what was going on, Kurt would call them the next day.


	16. Results

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So this chapter kind of makes me sad to write, but it's pretty much how I wanted it to go when I started writing and it works out well – even if it is more fluff/filler than content.**

Kurt was having a hard time keeping it together. To be honest, the only reason he hadn't broken yet was the fact that Blaine _needed_ him to be strong just now. Blaine was falling apart, and there was nothing Kurt could do to stop it. He understood _exactly_ why Blaine couldn't deal with this, because Kurt himself was having a hard time. And Kurt wasn't the one that would have to deal with all of the medications, the hair loss, the pain… he would just have to _watch_ all of it happen to the man he loved. So Kurt just lay there in the bed with his fiancée, holding him close and letting him cry until he had nothing left in him.

"I don't want to do this…" Blaine whispered. "I can't do this…"

"Shhh… you _can_ do this. You can fight, and you can win this battle. You just have to stop thinking that you can't…"

"Please, Kurt. Don't lie to me. You heard what the doctor said… my only hope is a bone marrow transplant, and there aren't any guarantees because of my history. The chances of me beating this thing…" Kurt shook his head, sighing. He didn't feel like starting an argument with his fiancée right now. And fighting wasn't going to help anything, even if Kurt did think that Blaine wasn't giving himself enough credit.

"I want to do something… and I want you to hear me out before you object to it." Kurt could see that Blaine was curious, so he continued. "Tomorrow morning, before you go to the hospital for your first treatment, we're going to city hall. We're going to get our marriage license…"

"Kurt…"

"You aren't allowed to object until I'm done, Blaine," Kurt replied.

"I know what you're about to say, Kurt. And I'm not going to put you through all of that…"

"Blaine, you've already agreed to marry me. What's the difference if we elope now, and plan an actual wedding after you go into remission? I want us to be happy and together, no matter what happens." Kurt leaned down and pressed a kiss against Blaine's forehead and pushing his curls around a bit.

"You're going to be a widower before you're thirty…"

"Don't say that. You don't know…"

"Kurt, you're kidding yourself… even if I do somehow manage to survive this time, every time I'm diagnosed with something else, the chances that I'll survive go down."

"And I said that I wanted to marry you. The fact that you _might_ be dying doesn't change that, Blaine… I don't care if I only get to be your husband for a few months. What matters to me is that I get to be your _husband_. Not your boyfriend, or your fiancée… I like those titles, but I _want_ to be your husband. That's been on my bucket list since my senior year of high school, and I'll be damned if cancer is going to stop that from happening now that you've agreed to marry me."

Blaine didn't look convinced, but Kurt didn't give him a chance to protest. "So, we'll go get the marriage license tomorrow, and schedule an appointment at city hall to get married."

"Kurt, I have cancer… I'm _dying_." Kurt sighed, leaning down and pressing a kiss against his fiancée's lips.

"All the more reason I want to do this now. I can deal with you being sick. I can deal with the thought that you might die. But I can't deal with the idea that it might happen before I get a chance to prove to the whole world that I'm madly in love with you and that I'm going to be here for you, no matter what."

"I need to call my parents… let them know what's going on," Blaine began, starting to get up.

"I can do that," Kurt replied.

"You need to get ready for work… you're supposed to leave soon."

"Blaine…"

"Kurt, you're going to work. I'm still well enough to take care of myself, and I don't want you to start staying home with me when it isn't necessary." Kurt nodded. "I don't want this to ruin your life. I know you love me, and I know that you want to take care of me, but I'm not an invalid." Kurt watched as the other man got up, taking his cell phone into the spare room to make the phone calls he needed. Kurt wasn't really sure that he wanted to leave Blaine alone for the night, but it didn't seem as though Blaine was going to give him a choice in the matter.

Kurt started to move about the room, getting dressed again because he had changed back into his pajamas when they had gotten home from the doctor's office. He hadn't really expected Blaine to let him leave home after all of that, because the man was kind of clingy when he didn't feel well. But Kurt wasn't willing to argue with the man, because he didn't want to upset Blaine. Not right now, when the man had so many other things going on in his head.

"I think I'm going to go get something to eat from the diner down the street… do you want anything?" Blaine asked, walking back into the bedroom.

"Did you call your parents?" Kurt asked.

"I called my mom. She wasn't home, so I just left her a message telling her to call me when she got a chance. I didn't want to say anything on her voicemail," Blaine replied.

"And your dad?"

"His secretary said he's out of the country until the end of the week, but that she'd have him call me as soon as he got back." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I find it a little strange that your father thinks that you need to contact him through his secretary… I mean, what if this was a matter of life or death?"

"It sort of _is_," Blaine whispered. Kurt raised an eyebrow at Blaine's comment. "If I'm going to fight this, I'm going to need a bone marrow donor… family members are the best choice. A sibling would be better, but parents are the best I have…"

"But we still have some time… you still have chemo and all of that before you really need to have a donor lined up…"

"But it is coming. And the sooner we find someone, the better it's going to be because then it's one less thing to worry about as we get closer to that time. I just don't want to have to worry about it in the future." Kurt nodded, wrapping his arms around Blaine's waist and pulling the man closer.

"Why don't you come to the theatre with me tonight? You can rest in my dressing room while I'm on the stage… I just don't want to leave you completely alone tonight, while you're still upset about everything that's happened," Kurt explained. "We can stop at the diner on the way and get something to go… eat in my dressing room."

"Rachel will be there?" Blaine asked.

"Probably… she usually at least comes to say hello before the show starts. But I can ask her to leave you alone, if you don't want her around…"

"I think it would be nice to have the distraction, to be honest." Kurt nodded, smiling slightly.

"Okay. You know that you can watch the show from side stage…"

"As long as I don't get in the way. I know." Kurt smiled as Blaine leaned in, pressing another kiss against his lips. "We're going to be okay, right?" Kurt nodded, gently squeezing his fiancée's hip.

"We're going to be fine. And so are you."


	17. Wedding Planning

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So I know it's sort of strange, to have something so sad happen at the same time as something so happy; but I feel like they would want to do this as quickly as possible, to make sure that they actually get to marry one another so the timing would be appropriate (if sad).**

It felt… strange. Blaine couldn't help smiling as he looked at the marriage license he and Kurt had just gotten, even as a nurse attached an IV line to his arm for his first chemotherapy treatment. It was sort of strange, to think that this new beginning could be happening on the exact same day as something that could eventually end his life.

"It sort of looks like you don't even think it's real." Blaine couldn't help but smile at Kurt as the man watched the nurse attaching the different bags of medication to Blaine's IV line.

"It's sort of hard to believe that it _is_ real," Blaine replied.

"I think it's even harder to believe that a week from now, that paper will be signed and the judge will be filing it with the county clerk…" Blaine smiled, nodding. "Do you want anything? I was going to step out and call everyone to let them know that we're going to get married next week…"

"Can it just be our families? Our parents, Finn… I guess Rachel, too, since she and Finn are engaged again. I just… I don't want a whole big party or anything like that to worry about. I'm worried that I'll be too sick to really enjoy it, and I don't want a ton of people staring at me or worrying about how I'm doing." Kurt's nod was reassuring.

"Of course. I didn't think you'd want something huge and elaborate, so I was just thinking lunch with our family at a nice restaurant after the ceremony. And since it's such short notice we aren't going to be able to get new rings before the ceremony, so I figured we could just use these for now…"

"Until I'm better and we can invite all of our friends to celebrate with us," Blaine replied. The truth was, he didn't want to put any kind of pressure on Kurt to buy another ring so soon after they had both bought the bands they were already wearing; and this marriage was really just their way of making sure that they were actually able to get married – an insurance policy, because they both knew that they wanted to get married but they weren't sure if Blaine would actually get through this.

But he could see that Kurt was a little upset by the fact that Blaine was talking about waiting so long for their proper wedding bands. "When I'm feeling better, we can plan a proper wedding and get the matching bands and do all of the things just like we planned when we first got engaged… this is just to make sure that no matter what happens, we're married. I know this isn't the dream wedding that you want – it isn't the wedding I want, either. So we'll do it right, once I've gotten through all of this." Blaine smiled and closed his eyes as Kurt pressed a kiss against his forehead.

"Okay. I'll go call our parents and Finn, and see if I can get reservations for lunch. You just try and relax… is there anything you need?"

"I'll need some water later… but I put crackers in your bag before we left, so otherwise I should be okay."

"Are you sure? I could get you something else to eat…" Kurt began. Blaine shook his head, smiling slightly. Kurt just didn't know what he was in for.

"You'll understand after this week… once you _see_ what this is like, it'll make sense why that's all I want," Blaine replied. "Just go make those phone calls. I can try to explain later."

"It's because you're afraid you'll get sick…"

"It's because I _know_ I'll get sick. The nausea medicine may or may not work, but even if it does help I can't take it all the time. I'm going to have to learn to deal with it," Blaine replied. He smiled as Kurt just nodded, before he walked out of the room to deal with the plans that needed to be made.

"So, you're planning a wedding?" the nurse asked when they were alone in the room.

"Yeah… we've been engaged since November. We hadn't set a date yet, but things have sort of made it a priority. So we're going to get married in city hall next week, and then have a real wedding with all of our friends and family later, after I've had a bone marrow transplant. Once I start feeling better."

"So that's the plan?" the nurse asked.

"Kurt doesn't really understand the probability that I'm going to die from this… that it's more likely that I'm _not_ going to make it, because I've been so sick before. But I can't stand to break it to him, that this will probably be our only wedding. I tell him not to get his hopes too high…" Blaine shrugged, sighing and closing his eyes again. He was still tired from staying out a bit too late the night before, given the fact that he and Kurt were getting up early to go get their marriage license. "It's the fact that we're getting married that matters, not what our wedding looks like. This is just pushing our plans forward a little more than we'd originally anticipated." Blaine opened his eyes, watching as the nurse nodded.

"How long have you been together?"

"Almost six years… when we met, I was a sophomore and he was a junior. He was spying on my school's glee club," Blaine replied, smiling at the memory of running into Kurt on Dalton's spiral staircase. "I proposed on the day we met. But it took me almost five months to get my head out of my ass and realize that we were supposed to be together…"

"It only took me about two weeks." Blaine turned his head and smiled as he heard Kurt's voice. "And we forgot that your dad's out of town until the end of the week. But his secretary said she would get in touch with him and let him know the plan… though I'm pretty sure she guessed why we were in such a hurry to get married." Blaine nodded, sighing.

"At least she'll make sure my dad takes this seriously… hopefully she'll convince him to come for the wedding, even though I know he doesn't really approve of the idea…" Blaine smiled slightly as Kurt leaned down and pressed a kiss against his forehead.

"I'm sure he'd do it for you… you're his only child. His son."

"I just… I guess I have to hope that's enough for him to forget that he doesn't approve of our relationship… we may not get along all the time, but he's still my dad and I want him at my wedding," Blaine replied.

"I'll call him again once he's back in Ohio, make sure he knows how important this is. To both of us."


	18. Going to the Chapel

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So I didn't write out the actual wedding; I've never actually **_**been**_** to a city hall wedding (the only wedding I've ever been to that wasn't in a church or wedding chapel was in my family's living room!). Oh and because someone asked – Cooper isn't in this story because it's the sequel to something I wrote **_**before**_** it was canon that Blaine had a brother. I don't want to mess with the universe I've already created there and confuse anyone that read the previous part of the story!**

After almost a week of worrying, Kurt was grateful that Blaine's nausea had cleared up in time for their wedding day. The man had spent most of the week in bed resting when he wasn't getting sick, so that he would hopefully feel up to being out all day for the ceremony and their small, intimate celebration dinner with their family afterwards. Kurt was just grateful that Blaine's mother had shown up on their doorstep the morning after Blaine's first treatment to help him make sure the other man wasn't getting dehydrated and that he was being properly taken care of.

Kurt leaned over, pressing a kiss against Blaine's forehead as the man slept. "Ten more minutes…"

"Just don't forget that this is our wedding day, and we're supposed to be at city hall in two hours," Kurt replied, gently rubbing the other man's shoulders. He was actually surprised at how quickly that thought got Blaine out of bed, smiling as the other man almost immediately started rummaging through his drawers to find clothing. "Hey… I already pulled out your clothes. Including the new ties and cufflinks your mother picked up for us. They're hanging up on the back of the bathroom door for you to put on after you take a shower…"

"Thank you…" Kurt held up a hand as Blaine started to kiss him.

"No way… not until you've brushed those teeth." Kurt pressed another kiss on his fiancée's cheek. "Go get ready. I'll make breakfast while you shower, and then we'll head out to make sure we get there in time."

"Don't forget the marriage license… we'll have to wait two more weeks if we don't have it when we get downtown," Blaine replied.

"It's already in the pocket of my suit jacket. I wasn't going to forget that piece of paper for anything." Kurt walked back to the kitchen, starting the process of preparing oatmeal from scratch. Kurt had learned very early on in this process that bland foods were better, especially if the didn't smell very strongly. And oatmeal was something that they could add other things to, if Blaine's stomach was feeling up to it. Needless to say, Kurt and Blaine had been eating oatmeal for breakfast almost every day since Blaine's first chemo treatment.

"I see you got to breakfast before I did." Kurt looked up from the pot as he heard Blaine's mother coming into the kitchen. He was impressed with the simple, dark red dress she had chosen for the occasion. Kurt knew that it would look good in pictures alongside the black suits and dark grey ties he and Blaine would be wearing. "Oatmeal?"

"You'll have to help me… this is the only thing I know to make that's bland enough for him, and I don't want to make him feel sick once you've gone back home…" Kurt began. As much as he hoped his soon to be mother-in-law would stay with them for a while, he knew he couldn't ask her to stay when she had a life of her own.

"I'll stay as long as the two of you need me to be here… or as long as you want me here, depending on what the case may be. But I'd be glad to help you figure out what's good and bad." Kurt smiled as Blaine's mother began to get out bowls for all three of them, as well as a few carefully chosen additions that wouldn't bother Blaine's sensitive stomach. "He's lucky to have found someone like you… someone that loves him enough to do this, knowing that the chances Blaine will live are so slim…" Kurt sighed, shaking his head.

"I love him too much to let him go. I'd rather be a widower at 23 or 24 than know that Blaine died before he got a chance to be married. I know it's something he wants, and I want to cross as many things off his list as possible." Kurt smiled as Blaine's mother took the pot of oatmeal from him, starting to put it into the bowls.

"Why don't you go make sure Blaine's getting ready in there… I can finish this up, and I'm sure he'd prefer to eat while it's still warm." Kurt nodded, stepping away from the stove and walking back towards the bedroom and bathroom he shared with his fiancée. Kurt knocked, but didn't wait for the man to respond before walking inside to see Blaine staring at a small handful of black curls.

"Oh, Blaine…"

"I was just drying my hair, so I could gel it down…" Kurt nodded, sighing. They had both known this was coming, but neither man had really expected it to happen so soon.

"It's okay… let's just finish getting you ready…"

"I was sort of hoping this wouldn't happen again. I didn't want you to see me bald…"

"I've already seen you bald, Blaine. A lot of times. And it's okay… I don't mind. Besides, that's what hats are for. And I'm pretty sure we still have plenty of those around from the last time you had a major surgery," Kurt replied. He pressed a soft kiss against Blaine's lips as he began buttoning Blaine's shirt, tucking it in and reaching for the simple silver cufflinks to close the French cuffs.

"I'm not sure I can do this, Kurt…" Kurt raised an eyebrow at the man's words. "I'm not sure that I can put you through all of this. It's not fair to you… you deserve a husband that can go on a honeymoon with you, who can actually help you with the bills. I'm going to be dependent on you for the rest of my life… and even if that's only a few months or a year, it's still not fair because you deserve better…" Kurt reached up and put a finger against his fiancée's lips to stop him.

"You're not going to start this again – these comments about why we _shouldn't_ do this. Because I want to marry you, and the only reason I wouldn't do that would be if you told me you didn't love me."

"I do love you… that's why I don't want to hurt you this way…" Blaine began.

"Blaine, I promise you… this isn't going to hurt me. I'll be upset if I lose you, yes, but you act as though this is going to scar me for life. And whatever pain I have to go through to do this – it's worth it if I know that you get to be happy, for whatever time you have left." Kurt watched as Blaine nodded, taking a deep breath and sighing.

"Okay. Let's do this."

"Do what?" Kurt asked, smiling to let Blaine know he was only teasing. He watched as Blaine smiled back at him.

"Let's get married."

* * *

Blaine was sort of surprised at how quickly the whole ceremony was over; he'd sort of expected it to be quick, but he still hadn't expected the whole thing to be that simple, even as the judge signed the paperwork after he and Kurt had signed on their appropriate lines. There had been vows, of course, and a symbolic exchanging of their rings – although they had simply swapped rings before so that they were just getting their own rings back. But it was a traditional part of the ceremony, and he and Kurt had decided that was what they wanted.

The only thing that was missing was Blaine's father; the man's plane had been delayed the night before and then cancelled due to storms, meaning that he was still somewhere on the way to the city even as the rest of the group made its way to the small restaurant Kurt had gotten a reservation for.

"I'm afraid your dad isn't going to make it." Blaine raised an eyebrow at his mother's comment as they all waited outside the restaurant for their reservation time. "He texted me during the wedding… his plane was still on the ground as of twenty minutes ago. He's furious about it, of course…"

"I'd be surprised if he was that upset," Blaine muttered. Even though he knew his parents didn't really get along, Blaine knew that his mother would defend the man.

"He is, Blaine… he wanted to be here for you today." Blaine just nodded, sighing and closing his eyes as Kurt wrapped his arms around his waist. "I know you two haven't always gotten along, but he really did want to make you happy today. I checked on his flight, and it looks as though it's going to be at least another hour or so before his flight leaves."

"It's okay… tell him not to worry about it. He can come some other time if he can't get out today," Blaine replied. He knew that it couldn't be helped; Kurt's dad and stepmother had flown out earlier the day before, before the storm that had grounded his own father's plane. Otherwise, it would have only been Blaine's mother and Rachel with them at city hall since Finn hadn't been able to get a pass to come to the wedding.

"We'll see him sometime soon, I'm sure… he did say something about taking some vacation next month and coming to see us," Kurt commented, gently rubbing one of Blaine's shoulders as he rested his chin on the other one. Blaine nodded, letting his head rest against his husband's. Of all the changes that had taken place recently, Blaine had to admit that calling Kurt his husband – not his boyfriend or fiancée – seemed to be the most difficult to remember because he still could not quite believe that it had happened.

"The most important thing is that I have you… that I get to be your husband for the rest of my life," Blaine replied.


	19. Next Steps

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So I definitely didn't realize how long this chapter was until I finished writing it. Kind of bad that I'm up this late since I'll have to get up early in the morning (an appraiser is coming to value the house before 10 am, and it's currently 2:30, lol). Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!**

Blaine curled up against Kurt, really not looking forward to what he knew was coming. "You do realize that the alarm clock isn't going to turn itself off, right?"

"I don't want to think about getting up yet… I don't want to go to the hospital again," Blaine replied. He smiled slightly as Kurt stroked his hair. "I was just starting to feel good again, and now I have to go for the stupid port procedure. Again."

"You're going to be fine…"

"I'm going to spend the next week getting ridiculously sick, missing all of my classes because I can't get out of bed for more time than it takes to go to the bathroom. I think… I think it's time to accept the fact that I'm not going to be able to do school this semester after all, Kurt," Blaine commented.

"I think that you need to do what's best for your health. But I'd hate to see you give up on your degree because of this."

"It's not giving up," Blaine replied, pulling away from the other man. He reached over and finally turned off the alarm clock as he sat up. "But Kurt… I'm going to fail this semester. Keeping up is hard enough already because of the hearing problems, and now with this… it's just too much for me to handle right now. I think I really need to just focus on getting better right now, and figure out the school thing later." Blaine watched as Kurt nodded, smiling at him.

"I see your point. I just want to make sure that this is a temporary setback, and not you giving up on that dream completely… your degree is important."

"I know. And I promise, once I'm better I'll be right back at it. But I'd rather take the time off and protect my GPA – I just feel like taking a leave of absence from school will be easier to explain than a lot of bad grades." Blaine leaned in and pressed a kiss against Kurt's cheek. Blaine sighed. "I should go get ready. Get this over with." Blaine started to get up and walk into the bathroom.

"Hey." Blaine turned around at the sound of Kurt saying something to him. "This is all going to work out alright, you know. School, treatments… you're going to be okay. _We're_ going to be okay." Blaine nodded, taking a deep breath and smiling at his husband.

"I know. Sometimes I just need you to remind me of all of that." Blaine watched as Kurt smiled back at him.

"That's what I'm here for. Want me to help you wash your back?"

"If that's your way of asking if I want you to share my shower, the answer is yes. I think I'd like the company, especially today."

It wasn't exactly the best shower he'd ever had – Blaine was too nervous about what would be happening later that day, and he didn't really have time for Kurt to distract him too much from actually taking a shower – but he had to admit that it was sort of relaxing to have the man so close. Kurt's presence was comforting, sort of like the old gray sweater Blaine had never been able to bring himself to get rid of, that he tended to wear when he wasn't feeling well. Blaine just wanted to keep him close, to never let Kurt go.

"You're okay, right?" Kurt asked once they were out of the shower. Blaine nodded.

"Just hungry. I'll feel better when this is all over and I can have something to eat," Blaine replied, trying his best to dry his hair with a towel as Kurt got dressed. Blaine was pulling on a shirt when Kurt leaned in and pressed a kiss against his cheek.

"I'll get you a cup of water and your meds… we need to go soon, to make your appointment." Blaine nodded, slipping on the familiar old sweater. "Blaine… you're not wearing that thing again…"

"It's comfortable. And still warm…" Blaine began.

"It's threadbare. I'm okay with you wearing it around the apartment when you're not feeling well, but you should really pick something a little nicer to wear when you're going out." Blaine shook his head, biting down on his bottom lip. He really wasn't sure that Kurt would understand his reasoning.

"I've worn this sweater for every surgery I've had the past few years. I've never had any major complications…" Blaine began.

"And you think it's good luck." Blaine nodded, surprised when Kurt smiled at him. "Maybe you should put another sweater on top… I don't want you to get too cold. The last thing you need is to catch something, on top of everything else going on."

"Thank you…"

"I love you… and I may hate that sweater with a passion, but if it makes you feel better I'll let you keep it," Kurt replied. Blaine smiled, leaning in for a kiss. "We should get going… I don't want you to be late, and the sooner we get you out of the hospital the faster you'll get to eat something."

"Can we not talk about food, please? I'm so hungry…" Blaine complained.

* * *

Kurt really hated that he was getting so used to being in the hospital's waiting room, waiting for the doctors to be done with whatever they had to do to Blaine. It was frustrating to spend so much time just sitting around doing nothing, but there really wasn't anything Kurt _could_ do for Blaine at the moment. He just had to keep doing what he could, being there for his new husband as much as possible.

The phone ringing shocked Kurt out of the book he was reading; the only thing he had been expecting was for someone to come tell him when Blaine was out of surgery, so it took him a moment to respond to the incessant ringing.

"Hello?"

"_Kurt, it's Rachel… how's Blaine doing?_" Kurt sighed, smiling at the sound of his sister-in-law's voice.

"He's in surgery right now… they're putting in the port for his chemo treatments before his next one tomorrow. It's just a minor procedure, and he should be done soon. How are you?"

"_Good… wondering how we're going to make it through the show tonight without you,_" Rachel replied. Kurt smiled slightly

"Jacques is good… he may not be me, but he can sing better than any of the other swings and understudies we have on the show," Kurt replied. "You'll all make it through just fine. Just have someone make sure he drinks plenty of water between scenes – he isn't as good when he's dehydrated."

"_I'll make sure Howard reminds him… what about you, though? How are you dealing with all of this?_" Kurt sighed. That was always a question he dreaded, because he was never really sure how he should answer it.

"I'm dealing… the most important thing is for me to be here for Blaine right now, and that's what I'm trying to do…"

"_Just don't forget to take care of yourself, okay? I'm sure you can get a few extra days off work if you need them…_"

"I know. I'll keep you all posted," Kurt replied. He looked up as a nurse walked into the room, smiling at him. "Rachel, I have to go… I think he's out of surgery. I'll call you later, once I've gotten him settled back at home." Kurt hung up the phone, standing up and grabbing his bag.

"Mr. Hummel? He's starting to come around… I figured you would want to be with him."

"Thank you," Kurt replied, smiling and following her back towards the recovery room. "Everything went okay?"

"Everything went fine. He's going to be groggy for a while from anesthesia, but he should be fine to go home in an hour or two… once he's coherent, we can get him checked out by the doctor and released."

"Good," Kurt replied, nodding. "He's always more comfortable once he gets home from the hospital, even though I'm not exactly the best nurse…"

"I'm sure you do a fine job of taking care of him," the nurse replied.

"I'm getting plenty of practice." Kurt smiled as the nurse pushed back one of the curtains so that he could see his husband in the hospital bed, still hooked up to several machines and monitors.

"As he wakes up, we'll be able to take him off the heart monitor and start removing the catheter and his IV. Just let us know if you two need anything, okay?" Kurt nodded, smiling and walking over towards his husband. Kurt immediately took the man's hand, smiling as Blaine opened his eyes for a moment.

"Kurt…?"

"Do you need something?" Kurt squeezed the man's hand, leaning in to press a quick kiss against his forehead – forgetting for a moment that Blaine didn't have his hearing aids in.

"I didn't catch that…" Kurt smiled, letting go of the man's hand so that he could find the hearing aids in his bag. It took him a moment to find the little box he'd put them in, but as soon as he found it Kurt hurried to help Blaine put them back on.

"Better?" Kurt asked, backing up somewhat so that Blaine could see his face. He smiled as Blaine nodded.

"Think they would give me some food if I asked nicely?" Blaine asked, smiling sleepily. Kurt couldn't help laughing.

"I think you need to wake up a little more before they let you have anything to eat… just relax, I promise I'll get you something good to eat as soon as I get you home and back in our own bed," Kurt replied. He pressed another kiss against the man's forehead as Blaine started to fall asleep again.

"But could you ask?"

"When you wake up again, I'll ask one of the nurses if they can give you anything to eat. But I'm pretty sure that right now you would fall asleep before they could get you anything." Kurt watched as Blaine nodded.

"But soon, right?" Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand.

"Soon."

Kurt wasn't all that surprised that Blaine fell asleep again pretty quickly after that. He'd spent so much time in recovery rooms with Blaine, he knew what to expect from the various medications. Now it was just a matter of waiting for the anesthesia to work its way out of Blaine's system so that he could wake up enough to go home.

"How are you two doing?" Kurt looked up with a smile as a different nurse walked through the curtain, checking the readings on the heart monitor and the settings on the IV machine as well as the amount of fluid left.

"Good… he said he was hungry, but I'm not sure if there's anything we can do about it," Kurt began.

"We can at least get him something to drink for the moment… we don't keep any food in this unit, but I can get a soda or some juice for him until he's more awake," the nurse replied. Kurt smiled, nodding at her suggestion.

"That would be great… do you have Dr. Pepper? It's his favorite…" The woman smiled back at him, nodding.

"I'll see what I can do. Everything looks good here… his surgeon got called into the OR for an emergency, but we'll find someone to sign the release paperwork when it's time if he isn't done there."

"Thank you," Kurt replied, smiling.

Kurt and Blaine were only left alone for a few minutes before the nurse came back with a Styrofoam cup and plastic straw. "We're in luck… they just restocked our fridge with Dr. Pepper. Just don't let him drink it too fast – just a couple of sips at a time until he's woken up some more. We don't want anything to happen that might stop him from getting home soon."

"Of course," Kurt replied, accepting the soda and getting it ready so that he could let Blaine have some as soon as he woke up again.

"I'll come back and check on him again in a little while. Just hit the call button if you all need anything."

The remainder of their time in the recovery room was thankfully uneventful, other than a slight argument with Blaine over the speed at which he wanted to drink his soda. It took the nurses some time to find a doctor that could sign Blaine's paperwork, but a little more than two hours after Kurt was allowed into the recovery room they were on their way back to their apartment.

"Can we stop by the Chinese restaurant down the block and get something to eat?" Blaine asked. Kurt smiled and shook his head.

"We're going straight back to the apartment so that you can get some rest, and then I'll order something that we can get delivered," Kurt replied. He raised an eyebrow at the pouting look Blaine gave him. "Puppy dog face won't work with me. You just had surgery, and I don't care how minor it may have been – you need to rest so that you can heal."

"You aren't going to get Chinese food for us, are you?" Blaine asked. Kurt smiled.

"If you want to eat Chinese the day before you go in for chemo, then I'll order Chinese." Kurt watched as Blaine thought about it for a moment, raising his eyebrow.

"Maybe we should have something else… I don't want to be put off the idea of Chinese food for the rest of my life…"

"I thought you might feel that way. I'll figure out something else for you to eat once you're home and resting."

"Thank you." Kurt leaned over and pressed a kiss against the top of Blaine's head, smiling at the ridiculous mass of curls that still hadn't fallen out due to chemo.

"I love you."


	20. Home Health

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: Yay for a new chapter! LOL… I'm so tired and sore from work and helping my mom pack. And I still have to do all of the paperwork crap to keep my in-state tuition (UGH). But yeah, at least I have a new chapter ready for all of you!**

Blaine couldn't stop shivering. He'd been fine all morning, through the myriad of blood tests and the medications that had been pumped through his new port, but now that he was home Blaine was starting to feel the effects of the medication. "You're struggling," Kurt commented. Blaine nodded, closing his eyes and pulling the blankets closer to his body in an attempt to get warm enough to go back to sleep. He felt Kurt press a hand against his forehead for a moment before pressing a kiss against his forehead.

"I'm so cold…" Blaine opened his eyes when he heard Kurt responding to him.

"Is there anything I can do for you? Maybe get you some water?" Blaine nodded, smiling at the other man.

"Maybe some tea? Just plain…" Blaine replied.

"Of course. Whatever you want." Blaine closed his eyes, doing his best to fight back the nausea that was starting to creep up on him again. "And your medicine, right? It's probably about time for more to take care of the nausea."

"Please," Blaine replied. It took most of the strength Blaine had to attempt to keep down his breakfast, but about the time Kurt started back into the room with his tea Blaine was forced out of bed in a mad dash for the bathroom. Blaine could feel Kurt's hand gently rubbing his back a moment later, until Blaine's body was finished rejecting everything he had already eaten.

"Let me get you some water to rinse your mouth out, and then you can take the nausea medicine…" Blaine grabbed the man's wrist as he started to get up and move away. "What? Do you need something else?"

"Don't leave me…" Blaine whispered, resting his head against his arm, which was resting on the toilet seat.

"I'm just going to the sink for the water, and then I'll take you back to the bed to rest." Blaine watched as Kurt walked the two steps over to their small sink, filled a glass, and walked back to him. Blaine took it gratefully, not at all surprised when Kurt refused to let go of it completely; Blaine didn't exactly do so well with holding onto things when he was this sick, and he'd nearly dropped more than one glass already.

Blaine spit out a mouthful of water, before taking another sip to actually drink. He was thirsty, but he knew that drinking anything too fast was a recipe for disaster. Blaine smiled slightly as Kurt gently rubbed his back, avoiding messing with his hair. The clumps falling out were getting larger, and they both tried to avoid anything that would force them to think about it that, too.

"You need to get ready for work…" Blaine began.

"I think you need me more than the show," Kurt replied. Blaine shook his head.

"My dad's hired a nursing company, remember? She should be here any minute."

"But she doesn't know what's going on…"

"K;urt, she's a nurse. She knows a lot about this already, and you can tell her whatever else she needs to know. Before you leave for work… one of us needs to be making some money in this marriage," Blaine replied. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "Help me up?"

Blaine had to lean on Kurt somewhat to get back into the bed, but he finally made it back underneath the covers. "I'm going to go make some soup for you, okay? I want you to just lay back and relax, and I'll bring it to you." Blaine closed his eyes as Kurt left the room, willing himself to fall asleep. Until the medication started to work its way out of his system, Blaine would only get a respite from the nausea when he was asleep or heavily medicated on anti-emetics. And Blaine was really sick of being drugged up all the time just so that he could survive the day.

Somehow, even Kurt's departure wasn't enough to wake Blaine up; getting sick had really taken it out of him. Blaine smiled as a petite blonde woman looked up from the book she was reading in the chair across the room – a chair that Blaine had told Kurt was ridiculous and unnecessary. But at the moment he was thankful for it, because it meant that he didn't have to bother getting out of bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been hit by a Mack truck," Blaine replied, forcing a slight smile.

"Well, your husband left some soup for you… I can go heat it up for you, if you'd like to try eating something. It's chicken noodle…"

"I'm not sure I can…" Blaine closed his eyes. "Sorry… I don't think I got your name…"

"I'm Lily. And don't feel like you have to entertain me… you just worry about getting your rest, okay? I'm here to take care of everything else," Lily replied. "Now, we need to get something in your stomach… Kurt said you could have more of the nausea medicine whenever you asked for it, and I think it might be a good idea so that you can get some food in your system. You don't need to lose too much weight." Blaine nodded, knowing that she was right.

"Okay…" Blaine was surprised at how quickly the woman stood up, smiling at him.

"Great… I'm going to go get your medicine and some soup. You just lay back and keep resting, and after you've eaten we can talk about what else needs to be done tonight, if you're feeling up to it." Blaine nodded again, starting to slowly get up out of the bed. "Do you need something?"

"I was just going to go get some water…"

"I'll do it… you need to rest." Blaine sighed, closing his eyes and leaning back into the pillows. As much as he knew that he needed to rest, he couldn't help feeling useless when he wasn't feeling well because of the medication. And that just made Blaine feel guilty, even though he knew that his father was paying this woman to be there and take care of him. "Here… do you need anything else? I could try and find the remote for the TV…" Blaine smiled and sat up before he took the water from Lily's hand.

"I can get it… Kurt thinks he's hiding it from me by putting it in the nightstand drawer," Blaine replied, taking a few short sips of the water. He didn't want to try and take too much, for fear of making himself sick again.

"I'll bring the soup as soon as I get it warmed up again," Lily commented, handing Blaine one of the white pills that he knew would help with the nausea. He took it quickly, being careful to chase it with small sips of water while Lily went out into the kitchen. It was strange to have someone wandering around in his home that he didn't really know, but Blaine knew that it was for the best; he wouldn't have been able to do everything that needed to be done around the apartment, and if his father was willing to pay for someone to help them out then Blaine was okay with at least giving it a chance.

It didn't take long for Lily to come back, armed with a tray of food that she put down on Blaine's lap. "I brought some crackers, too. Eat as much as you can, and I'll take the tray back to the kitchen. I need to go check on the laundry…"

"You're doing our laundry?" Blaine asked. He was surprised when the woman shrugged.

"It's not a big deal… I'm here to help you with whatever you need. Laundry, cooking, a little housework – it's part of the job description. And I'm happy to do it. What you two are dealing with… it's tough. So if I can make things a little easier for you both, then I'm willing to do it." Blaine smiled.

"Thank you."


	21. Fighting Exhaustion

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: And… another chapter! I'm supposed to be cleaning up or showering or something right now, but instead I've just been lounging around to finish writing this chapter. Well, I **_**have**_** done some laundry, and gotten my new "bookshelves" set up in my closet (aka milk crates, lol). But yeah, hope you all enjoy!**

Kurt was exhausted by the time he got home from the theatre; it had been a rough week, helping Blaine when he wasn't feeling well and then leaving almost as soon as Lily arrived to rush to the theatre in time for performances, heading home as soon as he could get himself cleaned up and presentable enough to walk through the crowd at the stage door. Kurt had to admit that going through this every other week was taking its toll on him. But given the alternatives… well, Kurt wasn't going to complain. Because Blaine being sick like this meant that he was still well enough to get chemo on schedule.

"You look exhausted…" Kurt smiled, dropping his bag in its usual place next to the door.

"It's been a long week. How was everything tonight?"

"It was a good night… Blaine didn't get sick at all after you left, and he got up for a little while. He's still weak, but at least he's doing better." Kurt nodded, sighing as he collapsed on the other end of the couch.

"Good… he still has time to get some of his strength back before the next treatment cycle starts." Kurt's eyes slid closed without his input; he wasn't completely sure he would be able to stay awake long enough to finish getting ready for bed.

"I can stay the rest of the night, if you need me… you need to make sure that you're getting enough rest, too. If you catch something it would be really easy for Blaine to get sick…" Lily began. Kurt nodded, forcing his eyes open.

"I know. Thank you… I'd actually really appreciate it if you stayed, even just for a little while. I love him, and I don't mind taking care of him, but sometimes I need a break."

"I know. That's why I'm here. You get some sleep, and I'll check in on Blaine a few times, take care of whatever he needs." Kurt smiled as he forced himself up off the couch to go get ready for bed.

"Lily… you are a lifesaver."

* * *

Kurt was surprised the next morning to wake up actually feeling rested – he hadn't been woken up in the middle of the night by Blaine getting sick or needing anything. And it was equally surprising to find that Blaine wasn't sitting in the bed next to him watching him sleep. Kurt enjoyed the peace for a moment, before getting up in an attempt to figure out where his husband had wandered off to.

"You need to eat a _real_ breakfast, Blaine. Cereal isn't enough for anyone to survive on… especially not when it's just Lucky Charms." Kurt couldn't help but smile at the sound of Lily in the kitchen, clearly arguing with the other man.

"I _like_ Lucky Charms… and the important thing is having food I'll eat…"

"The important thing is that you eat and eat properly. And you need to put back some of that weight… and not by eating junk food."

"Keeping him in line, I see?" Kurt asked, walking out into the main living area of their apartment and pressing a kiss against the side of Blaine's now-bald head as the man sat on a stool at the bar.

"Trying to… I didn't realize how stubborn Blaine could be when he wasn't feeling sick," Lily replied with a smile. "I've got French toast cooking, and there's bacon in the oven. Try to get him to eat some fruit if you can… he needs good calories, not just junk like that cereal he wants to eat for his breakfast." Kurt smiled.

"I'll do my best. You aren't going to stay and eat breakfast with us?" Kurt watched as Lily shook her head as she pulled the last of their French toast out of the pan and moved it off the hot eye.

"I have a dog at home that's going to start whimpering at the door soon… I need to go take care of her and run some errands. But I'll be back tonight at the usual time…"

"No, it's my night off," Kurt reminded her. "Which means it's your night off, too. We'll call if we need you to come back before his next chemo session." Kurt smiled as he let his arm snake around Blaine's waist, letting the younger man lean his head against his shoulder.

"Alright. You two take care of yourselves… and call me if you need anything, and especially if you start feeling sick again, Blaine."

"Yes, mother." Kurt gently thwapped Blaine against the back of the head.

"Smartass."

"You know you love me," Blaine replied. Kurt leaned in and pressed a kiss against Blaine's temple.

"You two are too cute. But I really do need to go. I'll see you guys soon." Kurt walked Lily to the door, before he returned to the kitchen to put the breakfast she'd prepared on plates for the two of them.

"I would rather just have cereal, play it safe…" Blaine began as Kurt put the plate down on the bar in front of him.

"You heard Lily… you need to eat something _real_, not that sugary crap," Kurt replied, pulling a banana out of the fruit bowl and setting it next to Blaine's plate. "Do you want orange juice, or just milk? Or should I make you some tea to go along with your breakfast?" Kurt heard Blaine sigh as he bustled around the kitchen.

"Just the milk."

"The orange juice probably isn't the best thing for you anyway… as sick as you've been recently, it might not do so well in your stomach."

"Kurt… will you just come sit down and eat with me?" Kurt sighed, turning around and smiling at Blaine as he put the carton of milk back in the fridge. He placed two glasses of milk next to their plates, before he walked around and sat down at the bar to eat his own breakfast. "That's better…"

"You're feeling okay?"

"Yeah… better than yesterday, anyway. I was thinking I would probably go back to bed after breakfast for a little while, actually. I'm still pretty tired…" Blaine began. Kurt nodded, leaning in and pressing another kiss against Blaine's forehead.

"Maybe we'll both go back to bed. It'll be nice to just lie around today, spending time with you. I can always read a book or something while you sleep…"

"I would like that. Our bed always seems too big when you aren't here to share it with me." Kurt and Blaine finished their breakfast in a comfortable silence, before Kurt started cleaning up the dishes and putting away the leftovers. "Do you want me to help…?"

"No, no… go crawl into bed and get comfortable. I'll be there in a few minutes, once I finish cleaning up this mess."

"You don't have to clear it up all by yourself… I can help…" Kurt turned to Blaine, raising an eyebrow.

"_You_ need your rest. I don't care if you've been laying in bed almost all week, you're still sick and you need to take care of yourself if you want to get better. Now you go lay down. It'll take me five, ten minutes tops to get this all sorted out, and then we'll have the rest of the day to do whatever you want, okay?" Kurt watched as Blaine sighed, nodding. "It's just because you've been so sick this week from the chemo… it's been the worst week yet, and I don't want you to do too much. We still have four more rounds of this…"

"_I _have four more rounds of this." Kurt took a deep breath, turning off the water in the sink and drying his hands before he walked over to Blaine and took the man's hands; he was getting far too used to the mood swings that seemed to come over the man without warning.

"I know… I don't have to put up with being sick and being poked and prodded and tested. But I'm here for you, Blaine…"

"You had Lily stay last night…" Kurt smiled.

"I was exhausted when I got home, Blaine… Lily volunteered to stay in case you needed anything, so that I could get some rest. I haven't been sleeping well, and I need to make sure that _I_ don't end up catching anything I could give to you. It's just an occasional thing, okay? Just to help out every once in a while when I need some rest." Kurt watched as Blaine nodded, sighing and shaking his head. "Why… do you not like having Lily around?"

"I'm sorry… you're right. And I love having Lily here when you aren't. She's good company, and it's nice to have someone around to help when I'm too sick to do anything around here. I just…"

"You're more comfortable with me. Right?" Kurt watched as Blaine nodded. "I know. Which is why I _need_ her to stay and help me out overnight every once in a while. If I get sick, I'll have to move in with Rachel until I'm better and it'll be just you and Lily all the time. And I trust her, but I don't want to have to stay away from you, either." Kurt leaned in and pressed a quick kiss against Blaine's lips. "Now, you go lay down and get some rest. I'll be there in a minute, and I'll bring some of your favorite DVDs in for us to watch."

"Harry Potter?" Blaine asked. Kurt scoffed.

"Would it _be_ a movie marathon around here without Harry Potter?"


	22. Bad News

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So I sort of struggled to figure out where to leave this one, but I think I like how it ended up. I'm always a fan of cute fluffiness, even if it isn't completely happy in this case. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!**

Blaine had been feeling good all week, but this cold seemed to have hit him out of nowhere. And it had hit like a freight train, causing a cough that never seemed to go away and a fever that Blaine could tell made Kurt and Lily nervous.

"You can't go for chemo with a fever, Blaine… they'll just stick you to take blood for all of the tests and then either send you home or admit you to the hospital until you beat this cold. It's not even an option," Lily commented. Blaine sighed as she started to put the thermometer away. "You just go to sleep, okay? Get some rest, while Kurt and I take care of everything else."

"I need to call and cancel my appointment this afternoon…" Blaine began, starting to sit up.

"_We_ will take care of everything. Your only task right now is to get better, and that means staying in bed and taking care of yourself. Now, I'm going into the kitchen to get you some orange juice, and when I get back I expect you to still be in this bed resting." Blaine sighed, knowing it was pointless to fight with the nurse. After almost two months of having her around, Blaine had discovered that she could be very hard-headed when it came to making sure that Blaine was following doctor's orders and taking his medications according to the directions. Lily didn't let Blaine get away with anything – and usually Blaine was okay with that, because it meant that he stayed healthy and that he hadn't needed to reschedule a single appointment yet.

Blaine rolled over as Lily left the room, picking up a textbook that had been left on the nightstand a few months earlier and starting to flip through its pages. Blaine had dropped all of his classes so that he could focus on getting better, and he was starting to find that not having something to do – a class to focus on, a project to work on – was starting to make his life rather miserable. It wasn't that bad when he was too sick to even get out of bed, of course, because on those days he didn't feel like doing anything. But on days like today, when he didn't feel _that_ bad and he wasn't dealing with the after-effects of chemo, it was miserable.

"Are you really trying to study right now? You do realize that you'll have the whole semester to get that work done once you're feeling better, right?" Kurt asked. Blaine felt the other man sit down on the side of their bed and rolled over to smile at his husband. The older man was holding a glass of orange juice out towards him, which Blaine took a sip from before putting it down on the nightstand.

"I feel so useless, being stuck in bed all the time. I wish there was something I could _do_. Something useful, or creative, or _something_," Blaine replied. He watched as Kurt smiled, taking his hand.

"So then let's find something you can do without having to leave the apartment. Something that won't make you too tired." Blaine smiled, shaking his head at Kurt's suggestion.

"What can I do? The only thing I've ever _really_ been good at besides school was singing. And that's not exactly an option, given the circumstances…"

"Then practice something else… you used to always talk about wanting to write. And we have a computer you can bring into the bed when you're not feeling up to getting up." Blaine smiled, squeezing Kurt's hand.

"You've already been thinking about this idea, haven't you?"

"It was just something I had been thinking about. You've been sick or recovering from something so much the past few years… it might be nice for you to have something that you can work on whenever you're feeling up to it, but that you don't have to work on every single day or have deadlines on or something."

"That sounds amazing… but what good will it really do? I may not have time to finish anything…" Blaine began, before he started to cough. He gratefully took a sip from the glass of orange juice Kurt offered, hoping it would calm the coughing at least somewhat.

"You don't know that… you may end up writing something amazing. You'll never know, if you don't try, Blaine," Kurt replied. Blaine closed his eyes, gently pulling the man closer to him so that Kurt was lying on top of the comforter by his side. "Hey now… cuddling doesn't mean that you can just ignore what I'm saying here…"

"Can we just… stop talking about it? I'm tired, and I want you to cuddle with me," Blaine replied. He could feel Kurt trying to contain his laughter as he scooted closer so that Blaine's head was against the older man's chest.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." It didn't take long for Blaine to doze off in Kurt's arms; of all of the places in the world, it was by far Blaine's favorite for a nap. Kurt was almost always willing to just lay there and hold him as he slept. Blaine felt more comfortable when he knew that Kurt was there next to him in the bed – a tangible reminder that Kurt _wasn't_ going to leave him. Not after everything they had already been through. And that was exactly what Blaine needed – some reason to remember that Kurt loved him, and that the older man wasn't going to give up on him so easily. That other people might leave him but Kurt would always be there, waiting with open arms. It was comforting.

* * *

"He's still asleep?" Kurt looked up as he heard the sound of Lily's voice from the doorway.

"Yeah… at least I won't have to worry about waking him up, since it's my day off," Kurt replied, glancing down at his husband as he gently rubbed the younger man's back.

"He needs sleep more than anything else right now. His immune system is shot, and we just have to do what little we can to help him get better." Kurt nodded, sighing and closing his eyes again.

"I forgot how heartbreaking it could be to see him like this… feeling so bad, unable to do things for himself. I wish that I could take some of it for him, you know? Just to make it easier for him…"

"I know the feeling," Lily replied. "I've spent a lot of time wishing that I could take away people's pain, but I know that the best thing I can do for any of them is to be there when they need help. That's what I'm here for. It's the only thing I can do to help someone so sick." Kurt smiled.

"I know. And for the record, we _both_ really appreciate your being here… you're a huge help. I don't know that I'd be able to keep working if it wasn't for you being here to help Blaine when he's sick." Kurt bent over slightly, pressing a kiss against the top of Blaine's bald head as the man continued to sleep. The scars were still there, more prominent than Kurt had remembered them being the last time Blaine's head had been shaved for a surgery.

"That's what I'm here for. Do you two need anything else? I need to head home to feed Rosie and take her for a walk soon, but I have some more time…" Kurt shook his head, smiling.

"I think I can handle it. I'll wake him up in a little while to eat something else, see if I can get some tea or some more orange juice in him, too. Anything else I need to know or do?"

"Just make sure he gets plenty of fluids… and call me if he gets any worse. And if he starts having trouble breathing, just take him straight to the hospital. But otherwise I think you'll be fine," Lily replied. Kurt nodded. "I'll let myself out, then… see you tomorrow night."

"Night, Lily." Kurt smiled as she walked out of the bedroom, before he curled a little closer to his husband's sleeping form. Waking the man could wait just a little bit longer.


	23. The Good and the Bad

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So this wasn't that easy for me to write, because I had to keep reminding myself that this story is rated T, not M! LOL… I apologize for the delay here – with first vacation and then a hellish week at work (I got home Monday night, and I've already pulled more than 16 hours on top of schoolwork… which is insane because I still have 2 shifts this week and I normally only work about 10 hours a week!).**

Kurt could feel the way his husband's hand tightened its grip around his own, almost as if he was terrified of what was about to happen. To be honest, the news they were waiting on was the type that would make anyone anxious – whether or not they had found a bone marrow donor for Blaine. As an only child, Blaine didn't have any siblings – the most obvious donors – and neither of his parents had proven to be a match. Kurt hadn't been a match, either, and because of his relationship with Blaine he hadn't even been able to register to donate to someone else. So at the moment, the only option they had was the registry.

"We have news…" Dr. Hitchens began as he walked in. Kurt raised an eyebrow at the man's words; it didn't sound good. "The good news is that we found a good match – which is difficult, given Blaine's ethnic background. The bad news is that she's currently pregnant, so she can't donate as soon as we would like."

"So… what do we do now? Is there another option, another donor we could pursue?" Kurt asked.

"We've exhausted the current registry looking for potential donors. She's the only viable match… she's agreed to donate already, but it's going to be several months before she's able to actually go through with the procedure. For now, we continue treating with the standard chemotherapy regimen and do whatever necessary to keep Blaine healthy." Kurt nodded, turning to watch his husband's reaction to the news. The man looked scared to death about the prospect of having to wait several _months_ to take the next step in his treatment. "I wish I could give you better news here. But there's only so much we can do and so far we can push things… my main concern here is what's best for your health, Blaine, and this donor is the only viable option we have. Unless something changes – unless a new match comes up on the registry in the next few weeks – this is what we have to do."

"So basically school isn't going to be an option until next fall, at the earliest," Blaine replied.

"With the reactions you have to the chemotherapy medications, it probably won't be an option. Maybe an online class or two would be okay, but actually going to classes on campus every day… you need your rest, and I don't think that would be a good idea." Kurt watched as Blaine shook his head.

"So… Wednesday? Like always?" Blaine asked.

"Yes… we still need to stay on the schedule as much as possible. We can't stop treatment… leukemia can move quickly, and the last thing we need is for the disease to progress further while we wait for the opportunity to perform the transplant," Dr. Hitchens replied. "It's always frustrating when things don't go as planned in treatment. Especially when it's something this important. But the important thing here is that we keep moving forward, even if we don't move onto the next stage of the transplant process as quickly as before." Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand, smiling at the man.

"Then we'll see you on Wednesday."

* * *

Blaine immediately curled into Kurt's side as the older man climbed into bed a few minutes after one AM. Kurt couldn't help smiling, even though he knew that Blaine just needed some physical comfort after the news they'd received that morning. Kurt had felt awful about leaving for work after all of that, but Blaine had insisted that he keep with his normal schedule.

"You're early," Blaine muttered. Kurt smiled as the other man opened his eyes.

"I didn't spend as much time at the stage door as I normally would have… I was worried about how you were handling the news," Kurt replied before he leaned over and pressed a kiss against his husband's forehead. "How are you?"

"Okay, I guess… it's just hard to think about having to keep doing this for five or six more months. The chemo treatments, the weeks of getting sick and not being able to do anything followed by complete boredom because I don't have anything to do." Kurt nodded, gently adjusting the hat Blaine had taken to wearing all the time so that people wouldn't be bothered by the scars covering his bald head. Even though Kurt didn't mind it, Blaine seemed to think the hat was necessary pretty much all of the time.

"It'll be worth it all in the end, when you're better…"

"If I get better," Blaine replied.

"You _will_ be better, Blaine. You're still so strong, even after months of chemo and being sick. After years of dealing with tumors and surgeries and everything else that's happened to you. I know you can do this." Kurt leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against his husband's lips, more than a little surprised when the man responded positively to him. "Blaine…" Kurt began, pulling away after a moment.

"We haven't done anything in so long… we didn't even really celebrate our wedding night because I was too tired. Tonight, the one thing I want is to be with you like we used to… like when we were in high school, and things were easy. Easier, anyway." Kurt smiled, wrapping an arm around his husband and pulling the man closer. "Please don't brush it off… let me have this. Just this once."

"I would give you the world if I could, Blaine." Kurt leaned in, pressing another soft kiss against his husband's lips. "If this is what you want, then I want this, too."

It was nice to be with Blaine again after so long; Kurt could honestly say that he'd missed the physical aspect of their relationship, but he hadn't wanted to push the younger man into doing anything. And Blaine had been so ill and weak for so long… despite his sexual frustration, Kurt had known that Blaine needed some space and plenty of rest. So he'd put Blaine's needs first.

Kurt was surprised at how much energy Blaine appeared to have while they were together; he'd gotten so used to seeing the other man exhausted, and having him so wanting and needy was sort of a nice change after everything that had happened. And Kurt couldn't help smiling as Blaine rested against his chest when they were finished. He could tell that Blaine was exhausted from the effort, and Kurt gently brushed his fingers against the side of the man's face until Blaine looked up at him. "That was worth waiting all this time," Kurt commented, smiling and leaning down to press a kiss against his husband's lips. "I love you so much, Blaine…"

"I love you, too. But right now, I'm exhausted…" Kurt couldn't help chuckling at the man's comment.

"Get some sleep, Romeo. Unlike Cinderella's carriage, I'll still be here when you wake up in the morning."


	24. I'll Always Love You

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So, deep conversations ahead. Sorry if any of you really hate me for the beginning of this chapter, but it had to happen at some point. And yeah… well, you'll see what's going on. Enjoy!**

Blaine hated being woken up by nausea, especially now that he knew there really was no end in sight. All he knew was that his donor was pregnant and that until she had the baby and healed, Blaine was stuck dealing with the results of chemo every other week. So when three AM came around the day after a treatment and he was forced out of bed to go running to the bathroom.

Dry heaving was probably one of the worst things Blaine had ever experienced, but it was unavoidable given the circumstances. Blaine could barely eat as it was, and everything that went down seemed to come right back up within an hour or so. And whether there was something in his stomach or not, Blaine would end up running to the bathroom every few hours because of the unavoidable urge to be sick.

"Relax… what can I get for you?" Kurt was there almost immediately, rubbing his back soothingly as Blaine's stomach revolted against him. Blaine couldn't help whimpering in pain as it finally subsided; his stomach muscles felt as though they were on fire as he fell back slightly so that he was leaning against Kurt. "Blaine?"

Blaine couldn't stop the tears that were trickling down his face, even as Kurt wiped them away with his sleeve. "Hey… it's okay. Everything's going to be fine…"

"It _hurts_," Blaine whispered, curling into Kurt and burying his face in the crook of the other man's neck. "I can't _do_ this anymore, Kurt… I can't keep living this way. I can't keep _pretending_ that this is a life…"

"Blaine…"

"I'm _done_, Kurt… I'm done…"

* * *

The previous night's events kept replaying over and over again in Kurt's mind. And even though he knew that it was just exhaustion and frustration talking, Kurt couldn't be sure that Blaine hadn't been serious about giving up.

Kurt walked back into their bedroom with a cup of ginger tea, hoping that his husband would be awake and feel up to talking. Kurt knew from experience that the tea would help with the nausea, even though Blaine hated the taste of it. "Blaine? You awake?"

Blaine rolled over in the bed, and Kurt smiled at his husband as the man removed his hat and threw it in the floor. "God, I feel awful…" Blaine muttered.

"I brought some tea. I know you hate the ginger kind, but you always say it helps after I make you drink it," Kurt replied, perching himself on the edge of the bed as Blaine forced his body into a seated position and took the mug.

"For once, I'm going to say thank you for this one," Blaine replied. Kurt smiled, bending over and picking up the hat. "It needs to be washed… I think I was sweating last night while I was asleep."

"You were. When you get up in a little while, I can change the sheets on the bed so that you'll be more comfortable…"

"I know you want to talk about it, so quit skirting around the issue. I know what I said last night upset you, and I'm sorry… I didn't mean it." Kurt couldn't help breathing a sigh of relief as he leaned in and pressed a kiss against his husband's forehead before he pulled back and watched Blaine sip at the mug of tea.

"I'm glad… you had me really worried…" Kurt began.

"Don't worry. Not about me giving up. I just… I get so tired of _fighting_ all the time. And it sort of feels like it will never end, like I'm never going to be healthy again. Like I'm never going to have a real life, or be anything other than a burden to you and my parents ever again. Everyone else is having to change their plans for my birthday because _I_ can't travel back to Ohio like we originally planned. They all have to come here for me…"

"They _want_ to be with us for your birthday…" Kurt began. He watched as Blaine shrugged, shaking his head. "Don't complain, okay? Everyone knows that we can't help this situation. And they're okay with changing plans around so that they can spend days like this with us."

"They're only doing it because they're afraid it's going to be my last one." Kurt was shocked by Blaine's apparent lack of emotion over that idea; it seemed as though it was simply a fact that Blaine knew, something that Kurt should know as well.

"Blaine…"

"It's true. There's a distinct possibility that this is going to be the last birthday I see, and I think we _both_ need to realize and accept that it's a possibility. If this transplant doesn't come through in time, or if it doesn't work… I can't go on like this forever, always filled with chemo drugs to the point that I can barely function. It's the worst feeling, Kurt. Knowing that what's making me so sick is the only thing that's going to keep me going for the rest of my life, until either the transplant comes through or something kills me. Or I give up."

"But you're not giving up, Blaine," Kurt reminded him. He watched as Blaine smiled slightly, shaking his head and taking a sip of his tea.

"Not now. But… six months? If I'm even still alive then? I can't guarantee that I won't be too weak to fight anymore… that I won't have to give up then. I don't know how much of this I can take, Kurt. You saw me break down last night… next time that happens, I might not be rational enough to realize I'm an idiot and that I have to keep fighting this until I don't have anything left. I don't know how much longer I can keep fighting, Kurt…"

"No. We're not talking about this like you're dying. You have a donor. You're going to get a bone marrow transplant, and you'll be healthy again…" Kurt began. He stopped when he felt Blaine putting a hand on his shoulder. "I know you're afraid that this isn't going to work. That something is going to go wrong. And I know that it isn't exactly a sure thing, but it's the only chance you have."

"I know. I know. But at some point, we have to face all of the facts of our situation. I love you, and I don't ever want to hurt you. But… Kurt, I'm going to die young. Even if I beat this one… it's going to kill me, Kurt. The chemo drugs, they could kill me too, just as much as the cancer could. They're toxic, too." Kurt sighed, shaking his head and squeezing Blaine's hand as the man continued to sip his tea. "Just… I'm not sure when this is going to end, okay? I don't know _how_ it will end. We just… we have to keep hoping for some kind of miracle. That something will change."

"And if it doesn't…" Kurt began.

"You know that I'll always love you. And I want you to be happy. Those are the two things you _have_ to know, no matter what happens to me in the future, okay? You have to find a way to be happy, even if I'm gone." Kurt sighed, leaning over to press a kiss against his husband's forehead because he knew that Blaine wouldn't let him kiss his lips.

"_You_ are what makes me happy."

"I won't be here forever, Kurt."

"But you are here now. And for the moment, that's all that matters."


	25. The Birthday Party

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So… I've been a bit preoccupied with my other story lately (there's a lot going on over there), not to mention my homework for school (two classes with 100+ pages of reading each week – yikes!). But this story isn't ending yet, I promise! Oh, and I corrected the whole double-Christmas issue from the last chapter – I'm surprised no one noticed that I was about to make Christmas happen twice in less than a year in this story! So yeah, all of the references to Christmas in the last chapter are now references to Blaine's birthday instead. Sorry for any confustion!**

Kurt wasn't sure if he was really ready for the prospect of having both of Blaine's parents _and_ his entire family over at their apartment at the moment. It wasn't that he didn't want them to come; Kurt loved that they were taking time out of their lives to make an effort to make sure they saw Blaine on his birthday. But Kurt hated the way their apartment looked, because he had been too tired lately to deal with cleaning up. He didn't like asking Lily to do those things, either, because that really wasn't her job. Not that Kurt could really stop her from doing little things like that – Lily did them anyway. But even with her help, it still didn't seem to be enough to keep the apartment looking decent enough for guests.

"Kurt… they aren't going to care if it's a little untidy," Blaine commented from his place on the couch. The man had tried to help him, but Kurt knew that Blaine was still weak from his last treatment, and he'd forced Blaine to sit down the moment he saw Blaine's hands starting to shake.

"But _I_ care… and I don't want your parents to think I'm incapable of taking care of you properly even _with_ Lily's help." Kurt watched as Blaine smiled at him, shaking his head.

"You work forty plus hours a week with a sick husband at home to take care of… they know there's only so much you can do, and they aren't going to think any less of you just because you don't have an immaculate house." Kurt walked over and sat down on the couch next to Blaine's feet. "My parents… they're just thankful that you've stayed. Through all of this, you've stuck by my side and continued to take care of me. Not everyone would have stayed through all of this…"

"I stayed because I love you. I've loved you since my junior year of high school. And the day I married you, I promised that I would stick around through all of this. I keep my promises. Especially to the people I love." Blaine smiled as Kurt leaned over, pressing a kiss against his forehead.

"I love you, too. So much more than you'd ever know…" Kurt smiled as he let Blaine pull him to lie down, letting one of his arms lie protectively across Blaine's stomach. "I want you to be happy, okay?"

"We're not talking about this on your birthday, Blaine… any other day, okay. But not on your birthday. Not when our families will be here soon to celebrate…" Kurt sat up suddenly, remembering what he'd forgotten. "Shit… I didn't bake the cake…"

"Just call the bakery, see if they have anything pre-made they could hold until you get there…" Blaine replied. Kurt wasn't that surprised that the man wasn't at all upset about the lack of a birthday cake, but he still felt bad for forgetting that part of Blaine's birthday celebration. "It's okay, Kurt… it's just a cake. The only thing I really need is to have you here with me. You, and our families. That's all I really care about."

"You aren't upset?" Kurt asked. The other man shook his head with a smile.

"It's just a cake. I can't even really eat that much of it… sweet stuff doesn't sit well with me anymore. If anyone's going to be upset over the lack of cake, it'll be Finn. And it isn't even his birthday…" Kurt smiled, leaning over to press a kiss against Blaine's lips.

"Still… what's a birthday party without cake? I can at least go to the bakery and pick something up. It may be pink princesses, but it'll still be a birthday cake." Kurt couldn't help laughing along with his husband.

"Make sure it's pink _and_ purple, if it's princesses. Everyone knows that real princess cakes have both colors." Kurt laughed and kissed his husband again as someone rang their buzzer.

"I'm going to go let whoever that is in, and then I'm going to run to the bakery to get you your pink and purple princess birthday cake." Kurt smiled, shaking his head as he walked over to the intercom system and pressed a button. "Hello?"

"_Hey Kurt, it's Lily…_" Kurt raised an eyebrow, but buzzed the woman in anyway.

"Did you know Lily was coming over today?" he asked, turning to his husband. The other man shook his head, looking just as confused as Kurt felt. "That's weird…"

"I thought you told her you were taking tonight off for my birthday…"

"I did… or at least I thought I did…" Kurt replied. "Although we probably should have invited her to come celebrate with us… she's been such a huge part of our lives lately."

"Then she'll stay… or we'll invite her to stay, at least. I'd like her to be here as a guest for once, not as a hired nurse." Kurt hurried over to the door as Lily knocked, smiling as he let her into the apartment along with a bunch of flowers.

"I know you gave me the day off, but I thought I would stop by with these… I thought it might be nice for you to have some flowers at the party, to brighten this place up a bit," Lily commented, making her way straight to the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers.

"That's really nice of you, Lily… thank you," Kurt commented, moving to the kitchen to help her with the flowers. He worked quickly, helping her cut the ends off the flowers and arrange them. "You should stay for the party… everyone will be here soon, and I ordered in enough food for at least ten people. We'd love to have you, if you have the time."

"I'd love to, but I have a date. And I've already cancelled on him once this week, so I really shouldn't cancel again," Lily replied. Kurt smiled, raising an eyebrow.

"There's a boyfriend? We didn't know that…"

"I did…" Blaine replied. "I didn't tell you about that?"

"No… you must have forgotten that one," Kurt replied with a smile.

"I would forget my head right now if it wasn't part of my body…" Blaine replied. Kurt raised an eyebrow at how quickly Blaine's mood seemed to have shifted. He'd gone from being happy and looking forward to the party to suddenly sounding as though he was seriously depressed over something. Kurt put down the flowers he'd been working on and hurried over to his husband, drying his hands off on a dishtowel on the way.

"Hey… what's wrong? Not five minutes ago you were so excited about this party…" Kurt watched as Blaine shrugged. "If it's the memory thing… it's not a big deal, okay? You have a lot going on right now, and I'm sure it'll be back to normal when you get better."

"I just… I hate forgetting everything. Not always knowing what's going on. It's almost as bad as the whole hearing issue… maybe worse, I don't know. I just need to get back to normal." Kurt smiled, leaning in and pressing a kiss against Blaine's lips, letting his forehead rest against the other man's for a moment.

"Hey… it's okay. You're going to get better, and then this is all going to be just another bad thing that happened in the past… something that will make us realize how lucky we are a few years from now, when we're stressing out about something stupid." Kurt rubbed his husband's cheek with his thumb for a moment, before he smiled and stood up. "Now, I need to go pick up a cake from the bakery for this party, so that we don't have to listen to Finn complaining all night."

"I can stay for a few minutes, if you need me to," Lily replied from the kitchen.

"You're welcome to stay, but it isn't necessary." Kurt stood up as his husband replied to Lily's offer. "I'll be fine while he's gone, but I always enjoy your company."

"If the two of you weren't gay and married, I would think Blaine was hitting on me."

"As much as I love you, Lily… you aren't my type."

* * *

Blaine really hated the fact that he was so sick. Sure, the medications made him feel lousy and he was weak and tired all the time. But the worst part of it all was that everyone seemed to be so worried about him all the time. Throughout the entire party, someone was always by his side making sure that he felt okay, that he didn't need anything. And to be honest, no matter how much he loved his family – all of his family, including his in-laws – it was about to drive him up the wall. And by the time the last of them were walking out the door, Blaine was thankful they were gone.

"I love my parents, but that was stressful…" Kurt commented as he finally closed the door behind Finn and Rachel. "Next time, remind me _not_ to have everyone over here for a party."

"I think I'm as glad to see them all go as you are," Blaine admitted, patting the couch beside him as an invitation for his husband to sit down. "It was nice to see everyone and to have them here, but I sort of wish they'd been gone an hour ago… I'm so tired of everyone asking if I'm doing all right. I'm not an invalid. Not at the moment, anyway."

"They're just worried about you… they aren't here every day to see how you're really doing. All they've seen this time around is how you were doing today, and you're still feeling the effects of your last chemo treatment. They don't realize that you aren't always this sick." Blaine smiled, letting his head rest against Kurt's shoulder as the man put his arm around Blaine's neck and shoulders. He closed his eyes, snuggling up to his husband.

"I know. But it's frustrating… they wouldn't let me do _anything_ for myself today. Every time I tried to get up for any reason, someone would tell me to sit back down and they would get me whatever I needed…"

"Did you see the look on Finn's face when you asked him how he was going to go to the bathroom for you?" Kurt asked. Blaine couldn't help chuckling along with his husband about that particular instance.

"I think he was actually trying to figure out how he _could_ do that for me for a minute there…"

"Hey… my step-brother is nothing if not entertaining."


	26. The Day After

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So, this chapter has taken a bit of time to write up for various reasons (including having to deal with CS for an online bookstore that shall remain nameless because my copy of TLOS doesn't have a tracking number more than 24 hours after it supposedly left the warehouse). But I hope you all enjoy it!**

Kurt really wasn't that surprised when Blaine didn't wake up as early as usual the morning after his birthday party. After all, the man had been exhausted once everyone had gone back to their respective homes and hotel rooms – Kurt had been very thankful that Blaine's parents had chosen to stay nearby rather than trying to stay with them. Blaine's mother would have been more than willing to lend a helping hand while she was sleeping in their spare room, of course, but Kurt hated that she felt she _needed_ to do things like that for them when she was there.

But when Blaine still wasn't awake a few hours later, Kurt had to admit that he was getting worried. Even when he was sick, it wasn't like his husband to be so completely out of it for so long. And Kurt really didn't know if he should wake Blaine or if Blaine needed the extra sleep he was getting for some unknown reason.

"Blaine? Babe, it's time to wake up…" Kurt whispered, leaning over his husband and gently shaking his shoulder. Kurt smiled at Blaine's groan, even though the man didn't open his eyes. "C'mon, Blaine… you've slept more than twelve hours, and you need to get up and eat something."

"Not hungry…"

"I don't care… you have to eat _something_. I'm not taking no for an answer on this one, because I'm not going to let you make yourself sick. You've already lost too much weight…" Kurt began. He smiled as Blaine finally opened his eyes. "Nice to see you, Sleeping Beauty."

"You keep calling me a Disney princess…" Blaine began.

"Yup. Because that makes me Prince Charming."

"Well, you're _my_ Prince Charming, anyway." Kurt leaned over and pressed a kiss against his lips despite the other man's morning breath. "Clearly I need to compliment you more often, if it gets me kisses first thing in the morning…"

"You act as if I never kiss you before you've brushed your teeth…" Kurt began.

"You don't lately…"

"Blaine, as much as I love you, I don't want to kiss you after you've been sick. That's just disgusting." Kurt rolled his eyes as Blaine pouted. "Don't give me that… you felt the same way when I had the stomach flu. Now, you need to put on your hearing aids and come out to the kitchen so that I can make you something to eat before you make yourself sick."

"Yes, mother…" Kurt smiled, standing up and walking back into the kitchen to prepare something for Blaine to eat. They had plenty of food in the apartment, so the most difficult part of the task was figuring out what Blaine _could_ eat. The man's stomach was so finicky, even when he wasn't feeling the after effects from the chemo. So Kurt settled on something he knew from experience Blaine would be able to handle – a bowl of chicken noodle soup, reheated from when he'd made it the day before Blaine's birthday party. It was simple, quick, and something that Blaine hadn't had any trouble with when it was fresh.

"Kurt… do we have any other soups, besides chicken noodle?" Blaine asked as he walked out of their bedroom. "I'm kind of getting tired of that stuff. It's good, but… I've kind of gotten tired of eating the same thing over and over."

"I can make you something else…" Kurt began. His first reaction was to start to get rid of the soup he'd just reheated, until Blaine put a hand on his shoulder.

"I didn't say I wasn't going to eat it… you're right, I have to eat something. I'm just asking you to choose something different when it's time to make some other kind of soup," Blaine replied. Kurt smiled as the man kissed the side of his head and took the bowl.

"You don't have to eat it if you don't want it… we have plenty of food, I can make whatever you'd like…"

"I'm eating the soup. You do more than enough around here without me asking you to play short-order cook, too."

Kurt watched in silence as Blaine sat down with the bowl and a spoon, slowly eating the soup even though he didn't really want it. The man seemed oblivious to the fact that Kurt was watching him eat from across the room, even though it was technically a mealtime and Kurt should have been sitting next to him eating something, too. But Kurt couldn't make himself look away, as if he was watching for some indication of what had made his husband so tired and weak that he hadn't been able to wake up as usual.

Blaine was nearly done with the bowl before Kurt finally managed to tear himself away from watching the man long enough to make something to eat for himself. It was just a sandwich – something simple, and something that didn't really take a lot of thought or effort to prepare.

"You're being strange today… what's wrong?" Kurt was surprised as his husband walked up behind him as he worked, and he jumped and dropped the knife into the jar of mayonnaise. "Sorry… I didn't mean to scare you. But you're acting like there's something wrong…" Kurt sighed and turned around to face the other man, not at all surprised at Blaine's perceptiveness.

"You just slept really late today… a lot later than usual. And that concerned me…" Kurt began.

"Yesterday _was_ kind of a big day… everyone was here, and there was a lot going on and I didn't really get much rest."

"But we're talking about _hours_, Blaine. You were asleep longer than you were awake… that's not normal for you. Not unless you're sick…" Kurt watched as his husband smiled.

"Kurt, I thought you _knew_… I have cancer." Kurt couldn't help but laughing along with Blaine at that one.

"You knew what I meant… you've been doing so well since you got over that cold, but I'm worried that you're going to get something else and it's going to really fuck things up. I don't want this to be your last birthday. I don't want to have Christmas without you. I don't want to lose the love of my life before I've even gotten to celebrate a first wedding anniversary…" Kurt was surprised when Blaine leaned in and pressed a hard kiss against his lips, stopping him from talking.

"I don't want any of that, either. I get why you're worried, okay? But I would tell you if anything was really wrong… and the only thing wrong with me right now is that I've been eating way too much chicken noodle soup, and I need a change. That's it. And that's easily fixed…"

"I know I might seem crazy sometimes…"

"You're always kind of crazy, but it just makes me love you more," Blaine interrupted. Kurt rolled his eyes in response.

"I'm just trying to look out for you. For both of our sakes. Because I don't know what I'm going to do without you. Even though I know that eventually you'll be gone, I don't know how I'm going to survive without knowing that I get to come home to you every night."

"You can't do anything stupid, Kurt… no matter what happens to me, you can't do anything to hurt yourself. You have too many other people that love you, too many other things to live for, without hurting yourself because you can't live without me…" Kurt smiled as Blaine reached out to push a strand of hair out of his face. "Promise me, Kurt."

"I promise." Kurt leaned in and pressed a kiss against his husband's lips. "I'd promise you the world, if I could."

"All I want is for you to promise that you'll never do something stupid because of me."


	27. More Problems

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So I have to admit that I hadn't realized how far along this chapter was until just now; it was finished, and I didn't realize it until I came to continue working on it!**

Blaine knew that he was getting worse, and he knew that it was only a matter of time before something happened that would preclude him from getting his bone marrow transplant. They had been in touch with his doctor pretty consistently, and had finally found out that his donor was only six months pregnant – meaning that it could be up to another six months before he actually received his transplant. Blaine knew that Kurt was still hopeful that things would work out the way they wanted them to, but Blaine knew that it couldn't possibly be as easy as Kurt thought it would be.

"You're looking a little pale… how are you feeling?" Blaine really wasn't surprised by the question coming from the nurse as she put the IV line into the port under his skin and started the process of prepping the line for bloodwork and eventually his chemo treatment.

"Just tired. It was kind of a crazy week, with everyone coming into town for my birthday… I don't know if I just haven't gotten enough sleep or what…" Blaine replied. He watched as the nurse nodded, smiling at him as if that was perfectly normal.

"We'll see what's going on when we do your bloodwork. Hopefully you're right and it's just from not getting enough rest," the nurse replied. Blaine nodded, closing his eyes as the woman worked. He really wasn't a fan of this part of the process, mostly because the needle would stay in his skin until either they had finished his treatment for the day or he had been declared too sick for chemo. Given the fact that Blaine hadn't been running a fever when they'd checked, he was still hoping that he would be well enough to keep moving forward despite how horrible he knew it would make him feel.

"You feeling okay?" Blaine opened his eyes, smiling as he heard Kurt's voice. The man had gone down the hall to get some things from a vending machine, and Blaine had to admit he was glad his husband was back.

"I'm fine. I'm just still tired, that's all…" Blaine closed his eyes again as Kurt pressed a kiss against his forehead.

"But you're still feeling up to this, right? I mean, we can delay a week…"

"No. I have to stay on the schedule as much as possible… as long as they say I'm healthy enough, I'm going to keep going." Blaine reached out and took Kurt's hand, squeezing it with a smile. "I'd tell you if I didn't feel up to it, okay? I know that I have to be healthy for this. But I don't want to risk making myself even worse by skipping a chemo treatment unnecessarily." Blaine smiled as Kurt nodded in response to his words.

"I trust you… I just can't help worrying about you. I don't want to lose you," Kurt replied. Blaine reached out, squeezing the man's forearm.

"I know."

* * *

Blaine sighed as he crawled back into bed, more than just a little frustrated over the fact that he'd been sent home without being given his treatment. He knew that it was for his own good – his bloodwork had shown that his cell levels were too low and it wasn't safe. But Blaine couldn't help being upset that he'd failed at the one thing he needed to do – keep himself healthy enough to continue with his chemo.

"Hey… don't look so down in the dumps. You heard what the doctor said, we can try again next week," Kurt commented, rubbing his back in small circles.

"I know… but I still can't help feeling like I've failed somehow," Blaine replied, burying his face in the pillow for a moment. "I really hate needles." Blaine turned to look at his husband as the other man smiled, shaking his head.

"You'll never even have to see the needle, Blaine… I'm going to be the one giving you the shots."

"I just can't help worrying about what all of this might mean… I know it's only a week, but still…" Blaine rolled onto his back as he spoke, so that he was looking up at Kurt. He smiled as the man took his hands.

"We'll get through this," Kurt replied. Blaine closed his eyes as the other man leaned in and pressed a kiss against his lips. "Do you want me to stay with you for a while?" Blaine nodded, smiling as Kurt kicked off his own shoes and climbed into bed so that Blaine was lying there in his arms. It was Blaine's definition of home, being there in Kurt's arms.

Blaine really wasn't sure when he fell asleep; Kurt's arms were so comfortable, and Blaine had learned pretty early on in their relationship that if he fell asleep, Kurt wouldn't move unless he absolutely had to. It was something that Blaine had always liked about Kurt – how much he cared about other people – even if it did usually make Blaine feel a bit guilty because he often woke up to find that he'd put one of Kurt's arms to sleep.

"You should have woken me up…" Blaine began, moving so that he wasn't on top of his husband anymore.

"I was about to have to… I need to go to the pharmacy and pick up the new medicine, and I really need to pick up something for our dinner, or at least call for takeout," Kurt replied with a smile. Blaine nodded, smiling.

"If you call the Indian place down the street, I can wait for the delivery guy while you run to the pharmacy," Blaine replied.

"Indian food upsets your stomach…"

"Everything upsets my stomach, Kurt. At least I can _taste_ the Indian food… everything else is bland and boring. No offense to your cooking…"

"None taken. I read the literature, I know that the chemo damages your taste buds and makes things taste different." Blaine smiled as the man kissed him again. "I'll go place the order… curry vindaloo?" Blaine nodded.

Blaine watched from his place on the bed as Kurt got up to go make the phone call before he left. He couldn't help admiring how beautiful his husband was, thinking about how lucky he was to get to have Kurt, even for so brief a time. Nothing could change the fact that Blaine was going to die young; there were too many things against him, too many reasons he would never live to see old age. But the fact that he got to have Kurt, the fact that Kurt was _his_ – his first boyfriend, his only love, his husband – well, that sort of made up for everything else.

"I'm leaving the money on the counter. Do you need anything else before I head out?" Blaine shook his head as Kurt walked back into the room.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."


	28. Relaxation

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So I'm thoroughly exhausted at this point, and I'm not sure when I'll get another chapter posted – I'm two days into the tax-free holiday, as well as two days into a migraine, and the two combined are killing me because of the ridiculous number of hours they have me working. At this point I'm just praying I can survive until Monday, my next day off.**

The one positive side of Blaine being turned away from his treatment was that it meant he and Kurt could just relax and enjoy Kurt's day off instead of dealing with Blaine being ill. And while Blaine was still tired, he still couldn't help being thankful for getting to curl up on the couch next to his husband and watch a movie for a change. He loved falling asleep in his husband's arms, especially when they were watching _Wall-E_. It was just sort of… comforting. Something familiar from when they'd first moved to New York and moved in together. Blaine really missed all of the time they'd been able to spend together when they had both been in college.

"You always fall asleep during the movie… have you ever even seen the ending?" Kurt asked as Blaine moved to cuddle closer to his husband.

"Yeah… in the movie theater. And I used to stay awake, when we watched it together on Skype while I was still in Ohio…" Blaine began. He smiled as Kurt pressed a kiss against his forehead. "I'm just so tired all the time now…"

"I know." Blaine felt Kurt's arms tighten around him. "I wish that I could help you somehow. That I could take it from you, or make it all go away, or _something_."

"I would never want you to go through this. I wouldn't wish this on anyone… the constant fear, never knowing what's going to happen the next day, always fearing that you're never going to wake up. It's…"

"Terrifying. I know. I have a lot of those same fears… I'm so afraid of losing you." Blaine leaned in, pressing a kiss against Kurt's lips.

"You're never going to lose me. Not really," Blaine replied, putting a hand over Kurt's heart. "I'll always be there. You'll always have me in your heart, no matter what happens." Blaine pressed another kiss against his husband's lips, closing his eyes and letting his head rest against Kurt's chest.

"But I won't have you to hold onto anymore."

* * *

Kurt didn't really remember falling asleep on the couch, but he definitely regretted it when he woke up the next morning with Blaine against his chest, burning hot and sweating into Kurt's shirt. Kurt raised an eyebrow, pressing his palm against the other man's forehead. "Shit…" Kurt got up as quickly as he could, disentangling himself from his husband's arms and leaving the man to sleep as he ran to the bathroom for their thermometer.

_103.5_

Kurt wasn't completely surprised at the number when he saw it, but that didn't make it any easier to stomach. Kurt sighed, kneeling down and gently shaking Blaine's shoulder to wake the man up.

"Please… let me sleep…" Blaine muttered.

"No can do… you're running a fever."

"I've run fevers before…"

"Not over 103… Lily said that if you ever got that high, we should go to the ER," Kurt replied. He really hated the idea of taking Blaine into the hospital – after all, the best place to catch something was the emergency room. But he didn't really have much of a choice in this case because Kurt wasn't sure what else he could do.

"Can we just wait? I'm so tired…" Kurt hated to hear Blaine whine about being tired, but he knew that letting Blaine go back to sleep probably wasn't the best plan.

"Once we get you to the hospital, _then_you can sleep… you need to see a doctor." Kurt hurriedly tried to get everything together that they would need at the hospital, until he realized that Blaine was still lying in the bed. "C'mon, Blaine, seriously… get up and brush your teeth and put on some shoes…" Kurt watched as Blaine rolled over, burying his head in the pillow. "Blaine, please…"

"I don't want to go." Kurt sighed, shaking his head and sitting down on the bed next to his husband and rubbing the man's back. "My throat hurts, and my head hurts, and I'm tired, and _I just want to sleep_." Kurt leaned over, pressing a kiss against the back of Blaine's neck.

"I know, Blaine… I know. But you need to let someone take a look at you before you get any worse," Kurt replied. He stood up, pulling back the covers and starting to pull his husband into a seated position. "I know you don't want to go, Blaine, but you're burning up…" Kurt smiled as the man finally sat up, albeit grudgingly. "I'm going to call a cab, and then I'm going to finish getting our stuff together so that we can go downstairs and wait for our ride."

It wasn't long before Kurt had everything together and Blaine was ready to go, and Kurt was thankful that the cab arrived shortly after they got downstairs. It wasn't a long trip to the emergency room, and Kurt wasn't surprised that Blaine was called back quickly as it seemed to be a slow day. Blaine was asleep almost as soon as they were in one of the small exam rooms, leaning against Kurt's chest and curling up against him almost as if Kurt were some kind of life raft.

"How long has he been running a fever?" Kurt had to admit, he'd never been more grateful to see Dr. Hitchens than he was at that moment.

"I don't know… he was okay when we went to bed last night, just kind of tired. This morning he was burning up, and complaining about his head and throat hurting," Kurt replied, rubbing small circles on Blaine's back as he spoke. The man's skin was burning hot to the touch, but he couldn't pull away – Kurt wanted nothing more than to hold onto Blaine for dear life. "He was so exhausted… I had to beg him to come in here and let someone look at him."

"I'm glad you brought him in… his fever's too high for my liking…"

"It's higher than it was when we left the apartment," Kurt replied. He watched as the doctor nodded, sighing.

"I want to admit him… it sounds like it might be the flu, and I don't want to take any chances. I'll have a nurse come start an IV so that we can start getting his fever down." Kurt nodded, continuing to rub Blaine's back.

"Is he even capable of fighting this? Really?" Kurt asked. He wasn't sure that he really wanted to know the answer to that question, but Kurt had to ask.

"He's still strong, all things considered. But I don't know the answer to the question you're really trying to ask me. I don't know what's going to happen here… all I know is that you did the right thing by bringing Blaine to the hospital, and we're going to do everything we can to help him get better."


	29. Facing the Truth

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: This story is starting to tear my heart to pieces… I really wish that I had more control over where it's going, but unfortunately my plot bunnies just sort of tell me what's going to happen and I can't really change it once it's there…**

Kurt really wasn't comfortable with the way Blaine was looking, even after four days in the hospital. He was still pale and feverish, and Kurt was pretty sure that he was losing even more weight. "You need to eat, Blaine… you _need_ to keep up your strength," Kurt commented, holding out the spoon to feed his husband the soup because the man was too weak and shaky to do it himself.

"I'll eat when you agree to go back to work…" Blaine commented softly. Kurt closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"I'm taking sick leave…"

"My mother is here already. She's more than capable of taking care of me while you're at the theatre…" Kurt couldn't help wincing as Blaine's words were interrupted by a coughing fit. They had started shortly after their arrival in the hospital, and Kurt was worried that they were going to end up being something much more serious than anyone had anticipated.

"You really think I would leave you like this?" Kurt asked once Blaine's coughing had subsided. "If something happened and I wasn't here, I would never forgive myself…" Kurt leaned in and pressed a kiss against his husband's forehead, still surprised by the fever he could feel radiating from the man's body.

"Kurt, you can't forget everything else because I'm sick… the rest of the world doesn't stop to wait for me to get better. It can't stop…" Kurt shook his head, smiling sadly at his husband.

"You're everything to me… nothing else matters, not unless I have you here to share it with me." Kurt watched as Blaine shook his head.

"You can't say things like that. You can't think that way… your life is so much more than that. It _can_ be so much more than that…"

"You're my first love, Blaine… I can't forget that. I can't just keep moving forward as if nothing is wrong," Kurt replied.

"You don't have much choice, Kurt. I… I don't think I'm going to leave this hospital. Not again. I don't know how much longer I can fight this."

"Blaine…"

"Please, Kurt… just don't. Don't tell me not to talk that way, or not to think about it. I'm so tired, Kurt. So tired of fighting for everything, only to find out that I have to fight even harder…" Kurt watched as Blaine closed his eyes.

"I don't want to lose you…" Kurt felt Blaine squeezing his hand for a moment before the man opened his eyes again.

"I know… I can't even begin to imagine how much this hurts for you. But fighting hurts, too, and I don't think I can keep doing this…" The man started coughing again, and Kurt grabbed the glass of water on the bedside table for him.

"Relax… just breathe." Kurt put the glass down as Blaine's coughing calmed down and the man was able to breathe easier.

"I can't keep doing this… it's so exhausting, Kurt." Kurt couldn't help the tears welling up in his eyes as Blaine spoke. He'd known that they might have that kind of conversation at some point, but he hadn't expected it to hurt quite so much when it happened. "Please don't cry… _please_. I can't take it."

"I'm sorry… I just can't help it. The thought of losing you is tearing me up inside. It hurts so much to even imagine you giving up like this…"

"I'm not giving up… I'm just accepting the inevitable. We've known for a long time that I was going to die young, Kurt. Maybe not this young, but we knew it was coming. There wasn't any stopping this…" Kurt choked down a sob as Blaine spoke, unable to stop himself from crying at the idea of losing the love of his life. "Please… just don't cry. It's so much harder to accept this when I know it upsets you…" Kurt shook his head, scoffing slightly.

"How could it _not_ upset me? You're my husband – the love of my life – and you're dying and I can't do anything about it…"

"You know what I mean… I can't watch you cry…"

"I don't know if I can stop," Kurt admitted. "I don't know if I can keep it together, if you're going to leave me all alone…" He watched as Blaine shook his head, smiling slightly.

"You'll never be alone… I'm not the only one that loves you. But you'll always be the one that has my whole heart. All of it." Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand again. "Just… stay with me. Hold my hand. Let me hold you, while I still can." Kurt leaned down and pressed a kiss against Blaine's lips, gently rubbing his thumb across his husband's cheek. "I just want you to love me for a little while longer, while you still can. While we still have time to be together…"

"This isn't easy. It will never be easy, no matter what happens…"

"It isn't supposed to be easy. It won't ever be easy… but you have to promise me, Kurt. You have to promise that you'll keep on living. Really living, not just putting up a front. I want you to do all of the things we talked about, everything I'm not going to be able to do with you. You _have_ to make all of your dreams come true."

"Not all of them are worth it without you…" Kurt began.

"If you want it, do it. Go for it. All I want is for you to be happy… I want you to find something that makes you happy, and I want you to go after it. I just want you to live your life, Kurt. I want you to have everything you want, even though I won't be here with you to see it all. And right now, I want you to go to work and live your life. I'll still be here when you get back tonight."

* * *

Being at the theatre after several days off to take care of Blaine was exhausting. The show was the same as it had always been, of course, but Kurt couldn't help being tired by the end of the show when he hadn't been there for a few days. It didn't help that during every spare moment, someone was asking how Blaine was doing – and Kurt couldn't give them any good news, because the man was still so sick.

"If you want, I can get security ready to take you through the crowd at stagedoor," Rachel said, opening his dressing room door. Kurt smiled, grabbing his messenger bag quickly before he wrapped his arms around his friend.

"Thank you… I just can't be away from him any longer…" Kurt began. He was surprised when one of the stagehands ran up towards them as Rachel hurried away to find one of the security guards.

"Mr. Hummel… your mother-in-law just called…"

"What's going on? Is Blaine okay?" Kurt asked, practically ripping the sticky note out of the man's hand.

"She said he's in respiratory distress… I came straight here with the message." Kurt nodded, hurrying towards the exit before Rachel could get back with any security guards to help him through the crowd that was sure to have formed by now.

"Kurt!" He turned at the sound of Rachel's voice coming up behind him.

"I can't wait any more, Rachel… I never should have left him to begin with, and now he's gotten even worse…" Kurt could see that Rachel was just as concerned as he was.

"Rob's coming… he'll be here any second…" Kurt nodded, waiting right next to the door because he knew that he would be mobbed if he went out there alone. It only took a few minutes for the security guard to get there and get Kurt out the door and into a cab, with Rachel close behind him. "I'm sure everything's going to be okay…"

"No… Rachel you didn't talk to him earlier today. He said that he couldn't fight anymore. He's giving up, and if I'm not there I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself…" Kurt couldn't stop the tears as they streamed down his face. He was so worried that something would happen before they got to the hospital that he really couldn't focus on what Rachel was saying. He was just thankful that they weren't too far from the hospital, and the cabbie seemed to understand that it was a bit of an emergency. Kurt practically threw money at the man in his rush to get out of the cab when they finally arrived at the hospital.

It didn't take long for Kurt to find his way back to Blaine's room with Rachel in tow, just in time to catch them wheeling Blaine out of the room. "He's stable, but we're moving him to the ICU," one of the nurses commented as Kurt immediately took the man's hand. "You can follow us as far as the doors, but you'll have to stay in the waiting room until we get him settled again."


	30. What Miracles We Can Get

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: I struggled with what to do with this chapter, exactly. I found a new idea a couple of days ago that's been nagging at me – well, really it's something that's been nagging at me for a LONG time in various incarnations. But basically that means I need to finish SOMETHING soon, because I don't think I can keep three stories going simultaneously for long…**

"I wish I had an explanation for you, but I'm as confused as you are about how this happened…" Dr. Hitchens commented, looking over Blaine's chart. "I think that in this case, we just have to take whatever miracles we can get. And this is definitely a miracle. Blaine shouldn't have made it through all of this."

"So, what do we do now?" Kurt asked, squeezing his husband's shoulder as the doctor looked through everything that had been added to the man's already extremely thick file during this most recent hospital stay.

"Blaine is still weak. I personally think another day or two resting here in the hospital would be ideal, but I'm not sure if your insurance company will agree to it now that he's not really sick, but I'm going to try my best to keep him here a little longer." Kurt nodded, smiling over at Blaine.

"I just want to sleep in my own bed again… but if it takes a few more days, I can deal with that," Blaine replied.

"We'll do whatever you think is best. The most important thing is for Blaine to be as healthy as possible." Kurt watched as the man closed his eyes again. Even though he was finally getting over the horrible combination of the flu and pneumonia that had ravaged his body over the last two weeks, Kurt knew the man was still exhausted.

"You just get some rest, Blaine. I'll come back and check on you later tonight, and hopefully we can continue chemo treatments soon… we need to give you time to recover from all of this, but I don't want to wait too long. Chemo is the only thing that will stop the cancer from getting worse, and the cancer isn't going to stop just because we can't fight it while you're sick…"

"We understand," Kurt replied, cutting the man off. The last thing anyone in the room needed was a reminder of how serious the situation was. Kurt smiled at the doctor as the man left the room, before turning back to his husband. The man seemed to be asleep, but Kurt could tell from the way he was squeezing Kurt's hand that Blaine wasn't completely asleep. "He's gone now…"

"I just couldn't listen to him talk about it anymore…" Blaine began as he opened his eyes. "I couldn't deal with hearing about how bad this whole situation is, like I don't already know. I _know_ that I'm in trouble here. But there isn't anything I can do…"

"All you need to do right now is get rest and let us all keep taking care of you," Kurt replied, squeezing Blaine's hand for a moment before he leaned over and pressed a kiss against the man's cheek. "I'm just so thankful that we're getting to have this conversation at all… God, I thought I'd lost you…"

"I'm still so tired of fighting… I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this when there's no end in sight…"

"But it is going to end… this isn't going to be forever," Kurt replied, pressing a kiss against the other man's forehead again.

"It _feels_ like it's going to last forever. I don't know when it's going to end, and it's hard to see the end of that road. And even once I have the bone marrow transplant, we don't know what will happen… there aren't any guarantees, Kurt." Kurt nodded, smiling and rubbing his thumb across the back of Blaine's hand.

"I know. But we have to think positive here… it's the only thing we _can_ do." Kurt watched as Blaine closed his eyes again. "I'm going to leave you to get some rest, and go get some food. Is there anything you want?"

"If you could find me another donor, that would be awesome…" Blaine began. Kurt smirked, shaking his head.

"I wish that was something I could get for you." Kurt pressed another quick kiss against Blaine's forehead before he left the room. He wasn't that surprised to run into Mrs. Anderson just down the hall as he made his way towards the elevators.

"What did the doctor say?" Kurt stopped, leaning against the wall in front of his mother-in-law.

"He wants to keep Blaine here for a few more days, just to get some rest and hopefully get some of his strength back," Kurt replied. "It's up to the insurance company now. Hopefully they won't force him to go home until Dr. Hitchens is okay letting him go…"

"What did he say about the treatments? The cancer?"

"It's getting worse, of course. But we have to wait for Blaine to get over all of this and to get stronger before we can get him started on the treatments again. So we still don't know much of anything for sure, but at least we're getting closer to him being back on track." Blaine could see the relief in the woman's face and posture as she nodded.

"It wasn't this hard the first time. It was terrifying and emotional and hard, but I never thought that I was going to lose him at any moment." Kurt couldn't help wrapping his arms around the woman, knowing that they both needed some kind of comfort at this point. It had been an exhausting week and a half for everyone involved, and they really hadn't been able to even talk yet because so much had been going on. "He's too young… he's only twenty-four. I thought it was bad when he was eight and nine, but this is so much worse. It seems to be so much more out of control… we were worried that he would die the last time, of course, but he didn't seem to be on the brink of death."

"I know it's terrifying."

"I feel like I need to be here now… I need to move to the city and be with him. It just seems so much more real than it ever did before, and I'll never forgive myself if I'm not here for him…" the woman began.

"We have the spare bedroom, and it's always ready for you. I'd love to have you here with us, if that's what you want to do, and I'm sure Blaine feels the same way," Kurt replied, pulling away and smiling at his mother-in-law. "You've always been welcome to it, and you always will be."

"I'll have to see if I can get someone to ship some of my clothes out here… I'm afraid to even go home long enough to get anything because I don't want to be there if something happens to him…" Kurt smiled.

"I'm sure you could get Carole to do it for you, if need be," he replied. "Blaine's sleeping right now, and I was going to go get some dinner, if you'd like to join me. We can call and figure everything out while we're downstairs."

"That sounds like a good plan to me."


	31. As Long As I Can

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So, I apologize for the delay in new chapters lately; school started two days ago, and my life is about to get completely insane because no only do I have classes, but I also have TWO jobs now. YIKES!**

"Bed or couch?"

"Bed… I'm too exhausted…" Blaine replied as he leaned heavily on Kurt. The man wasn't heavy, but he was tired and still weak from being so ill. So Kurt shouldered most of Blaine's weight, helping his husband down the hall and into their bed. "Where's my mom?"

"She's around here somewhere… when she left the hospital this morning, she did say something about checking the fridge and potentially going to pick up some groceries." Kurt smiled as he tucked Blaine into the bed, pressing a quick kiss against his husband's forehead. "Get some rest, okay? I'll wake you up when it's time for lunch." Kurt started to walk away, until he felt Blaine's hand latch around his wrist.

"Stay with me for a while? I don't want to be alone…" Kurt smiled, kicking off his own shoes and walking to his side of the bed to climb underneath the covers and cuddle with his husband. "Thank you…"

"You don't have to thank me… I love cuddling with you," Kurt replied as he scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Blaine's thin body. As much as he hated the feeling of Blaine's bones poking out through his skin, Kurt had to think of it as a temporary thing – just one of the many things he hoped would change after Blaine's bone marrow transplant.

Kurt didn't even realize that he'd fallen asleep until he felt his mother-in-law shaking his shoulder. "Lunch is ready… should I wake Blaine up, or were you planning on letting him sleep?"

"You didn't have to make lunch," Kurt replied, slowly extricating himself from his husband's arms.

"The two of you were already asleep when I got home from the store, and I figured you needed the sleep. Do you want me to wake Blaine up?"

"No… no, I'll do it. You go ahead and eat, we'll join you in just a minute," Kurt replied with a smile as he started to gently shake Blaine awake. The man opened his eyes slowly, smiling slightly as he realized where he was.

"Hi."

"Hi," Kurt replied, leaning down to press a kiss against the other man's lips. "Your mom made lunch… do you feel up to getting out of bed and eating at the table with us, or do you want me to just bring it to you?"

"I'll get up… I spend enough time in this bed without eating all of my meals in here, too. Not to mention that I'm pretty sure you really don't _want_ me to eat in bed because of the crumbs…" Blaine began.

"Sheets can be changed. I just don't want you to overdo it and end up in the hospital again." Kurt watched as Blaine smiled and started getting out of the bed.

"Getting out of bed is probably a good thing. And I kind of feel like I need a shower… I'm not sure how long it's been, but I know it's been too long. I'm kind of amazed that you're willing to be anywhere near me…" Kurt shrugged, watching as Blaine looked around for his hearing aids.

"You're still wearing them… they probably died from being left on so much lately," Kurt commented, smiling as Blaine reached up and realized that he was right. "I have more important things to worry about than how you smell, Blaine. Like making sure you're getting better." Kurt watched as the other man smiled.

"How did I ever get lucky enough to have someone like you fall in love with me?" It was Kurt's turn to smile.

"I think it's pretty safe to say that we _both_ got lucky finding each other," Kurt replied. He walked around and put an arm around Blaine's waist. "Now, we need to get some food in you so that you don't end up getting sick again."

"You're too good to me." Kurt leaned in and pressed a kiss against Blaine's lips.

"It's all for selfish reasons… I treat you well so that you'll stick around, because I don't want to be without you."

"You know that I'd always stick around. As long as I can."

**LINE**

Kurt was thankful to see the few pounds Blaine had managed to gain in the week between his release from the hospital and the round of chemo he'd received the day before, but he knew that it probably wouldn't last long. Though the man was taking the nausea medicine much more frequently than before, he was still getting sick too often for Kurt's liking.

"What can I get for you?" Kurt asked, rubbing Blaine's back as he waited for the man to feel ready to get back up and go back to bed.

"Water, please…" Blaine replied. Kurt nodded, standing up and filling Blaine's glass with water from the bathroom tap. "I'd sort of hoped not to have to deal with this again… I wish they could give me something else to make this stop…"

"Blaine…" Kurt began, holding out the glass of water to the man. Blaine took it, taking a sip before he shook his head.

"The nausea… just the nausea. It's exhausting, and I hate feeling sick all the time. It _hurts_." Kurt nodded. They'd had similar conversations before, and it always made Kurt's heart ache for the man.

"I know." Kurt gently rubbed his hand across Blaine's back a few times. "I can stay home tonight… we can put on a movie and just relax…"

"No, Kurt… you've missed too many days of work because I'm sick. My mom will be here, and all I really want to do right now is sleep anyway," Blaine replied. Kurt nodded, smiling and pressing a quick kiss against Blaine's forehead.

"Okay. I'm going to bring you another dose of the nausea medication and something to try to eat."

"No food…"

"You just have to try, Blaine. You have to eat something to keep your strength up… you were so sick, and I don't think that I could deal with you ending up in that position again," Kurt commented, squeezing the man's hand. He watched as Blaine nodded, closing his eyes and starting to get up from the floor of the bathroom.

"Thank you…" Kurt wrapped an arm around Blaine's waist and started walking with him back towards the bed to make sure that he was capable of making it.

"You don't have to thank me. You just have to keep fighting this for as long as you can, because I'm not sure how I'm ever going to live without you."


	32. The Light at the End of the Tunnel

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So yay for actually finishing a new chapter! Too bad it means I haven't been accomplishing a few necessary tasks… oops!**

"Six weeks… we only have to wait six more weeks for the transplant?" Kurt asked, smiling at the news. Dr. Hitchens nodded, flipping through Blaine's chart for a moment.

"We'll have to start more intense rounds of chemo soon, as well as radiation treatments to eliminate the remainder of the infected bone marrow. It's vital that we wipe it out completely to minimize the risk of relapse." Kurt glanced at Blaine, watching the way he visibly paled.

"It has to get worse before it gets better…" Blaine began.

"Unfortunately, yes. We'll keep you in the hospital for the last week or so, until the transplant is completed, and do everything we can to make you comfortable."

"And it's only for a little while. Then you'll feel better, and it'll be over. This whole nightmare will be just a bad memory. We can start living our lives again…" Kurt began, squeezing Blaine's hand. He watched as the other man took a deep breath.

"When do we start?"

"We'll stick to the same schedule we've always been on. The less we mess with, hopefully the easier it will be on you. We've just got to get through these last couple of months."

"But it isn't the end… if something goes wrong…" Blaine began.

"We'll deal with that if it comes up. For the moment, the most important thing is that you take care of yourself for these last weeks and do everything you can to avoid any possible complications. You should go home and get some rest, try and relax while you still can."

Kurt was surprised by how quiet Blaine was as they started to go back to their apartment. He'd thought that his husband would be happy to hear that news, but somehow it just seemed to make him depressed again. But Kurt knew better than to question him until they were safely at home and settled, because he wouldn't get any answers in front of the cab driver. It wasn't until they were back in their bedroom that Kurt felt comfortable saying anything about it.

"Are you okay? You seem upset…" Kurt gently rubbed the other man's back as he spoke, knowing that he had to be careful of how he approached the subject.

"I just… I don't want to be sick any more. And I know it's ridiculous to be upset about the fact that I'm just going to get worse, but at the same time I can't help it. It's so hard to keep fighting mentally, when I'm exhausted from fighting for so long," Blaine replied. Kurt nodded, leaning in to press a kiss against his husband's lips.

"I know. But this is the light at the end of the tunnel… this is what you've been fighting for all this time. And it's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. It's everything we've been hoping for."

"It's not a guarantee, though. Making it to that day, surviving that long… there are still so many things that can happen that would change everything. And I'm terrified. I don't want to die, Kurt…" Kurt pressed a kiss against Blaine's temple, holding him close because he knew that was necessary.

"I know. But this is our only chance… you _will_ die if you don't do this, Blaine. I don't want to lose you any more than you want to lose this battle." Kurt watched as Blaine sighed, relaxing into Kurt's arms.

"It's like this is a nightmare that's never going to end sometimes… like this is going to be what the rest of my life is going to be. And I'm so exhausted, but I know that this isn't how I want to let things end."

"I know. You just need some rest, a chance to process it all," Kurt replied, gently guiding the man over to the bed. "Just lay down and relax…"

"I'm not tired…"

"No, but you don't need to overdo things and potentially make yourself sick. You just need to take it easy, take care of yourself while you're waiting this out. We don't want anything to mess things up." Kurt lay down next to his husband on the bed, gently squeezing his shoulder.

"My mom…" Blaine began.

"We aren't doing anything. Not that it would matter if we were – we're married, and it's not like we're capable of getting pregnant on accident or something like that," Kurt replied, cutting Blaine off. The other man smiled.

"I meant that we need to let her know what's going on… she's been so worried about all of this. It'll probably make her more comfortable, knowing that it's going to be over soon." Kurt nodded, letting his head rest against his arm.

"I'll make sure to let her know when she gets home… she said she was going to the library and to run a few errands this morning."

"I'd rather do it… I feel like I should be the one to talk to her about all of this and let her know what's going on. She came all this way to help, but I've barely spent any time with her since she's been here. It isn't fair that I ignore her while you're here, and that then I'm so tired or sick or whatever that I can't really spend time with her. If something had happened to me earlier on…"

"Don't even think about talking like that," Kurt commented, sitting up. "You've fought so hard, for so long. Thinking about what might have happened if you hadn't been so strong… that isn't going to do you any good now. You need to focus on what's still to come, on keeping up the fight so that you don't lose this battle." Kurt watched as Blaine opened his eyes, staring up at him with a slight smile on his face.

"You know that I love you. But sometimes I get the feeling that you're more invested in fighting this thing than I am…"

"I'm still not ready to say goodbye to you," Kurt replied, shaking his head. "I don't think that I could ever be ready for that. And I'm afraid that I'll have to do that if I don't keep reminding you what you have to fight for. You're so strong, but I can't let you forget that. I can't fight this for you… all I can do is be here for you and pray that reminding you of how much we all love you and how strong you are is enough to help you win this fight."

"But what if…" Blaine began. Kurt shook his head.

"No. No 'what ifs' allowed. We aren't going to worry about what might happen until we _have_ to worry. It's a waste of energy, and it won't do you any good." Kurt leaned in and pressed a kiss against Blaine's forehead. "Just relax, okay? Everything's going to work out the way it's supposed to. Everything."


	33. Waiting Games

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: So, school is kicking my ass. If I can get out one chapter between both of my stories every three weeks, I'll be doing good. Hopefully things will chill before the end of the semester and I'll be able to do more than that, but right now I've only gotten this up because I skipped class this afternoon because I wasn't feeling well. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!**

Kurt had been scrubbing down every solid surface he could find in the apartment for three days, waiting for Blaine to be released from the hospital. They had been assured that it was just a precaution because Blaine didn't really have an immune system, but Kurt couldn't help worrying about anything and everything that might possibly go wrong.

"I think you've officially killed every germ in the house, Kurt." Kurt sighed, shaking his head as he saw his mother-in-law's smirk. "Really, you're getting ahead of yourself here. Blaine won't be coming home for a few more days, and we're going to be cleaning like this all the time for the next few months… just let yourself relax for a little while, okay? Take care of yourself." Kurt sighed, putting down the box of bleach wipes that he'd already nearly emptied.

"I just need _something_ to do. It bothers me that I can't be with Blaine while he's going through all of this," Kurt replied, sighing. He hated being separated from his husband, but because of the nature of the treatment Blaine's doctors had decided not to allow visitors until he was closer to going home – until he at least had a little bit of an immune system to fight off potential infections. But being without his husband for so long, at least physically, was killing him.

"I know. But you need to be taking care of yourself right now, too. You need to make sure you don't catch anything before Blaine comes home, because I _will_ kick you out of your own home if you're sick when he gets out of the hospital." Kurt smiled, shaking his head.

"I expected as much. And if I'm sick, I'll gladly leave so that I don't give him anything. But all I want to do right now is hold him and tell him how much I love him… how much he means to me, how I can't bear to think of living without him. I know it's silly, and that I've told him plenty of times before, but for some reason I feel like he needs to hear it again and again. As many times as I can tell him."

"Blaine knows that you love him, Kurt. I don't see how he could ever forget that, when you've always been there for him. And I know that he loves you… he's fought for so long, so much harder than I ever would have thought he could," Mrs. Anderson replied. Kurt watched as she started putting his cleaning supplies away underneath the kitchen sink, organizing everything carefully before shutting the cabinet and turning around to face him. "Now, we need to think about some lunch before you have to go to the theatre this afternoon."

"I can go pick up something…" Kurt began, pulling out the binder he'd started keeping their takeout menus in.

"No… we're going to have a real meal for a change. I bought groceries this morning, and you and I are going to use them to make something to eat. You aren't going to be eating takeout for a while after Blaine gets out of the hospital, so you might as well get used to letting me make home-cooked meals now." Kurt stepped back as his mother-in-law started taking over the kitchen. He knew better than to get in her way when the woman was on a mission like this.

"Can I help?"

"You can go call your husband and stay out of my way for a little while, so that I can get this done without you being in the way. I know you'd much rather talk to Blaine than be stuck helping me in the kitchen." Kurt smiled, giving his mother-in-law a hug before walking back into his bedroom with his cell phone in hand. He'd gotten the direct number for Blaine's hospital room before he'd left on the first night, so that they could talk as much as possible even though they couldn't actually be in the same room.

"_I was starting to wonder when you were going to call._" Kurt couldn't help smiling when Blaine picked up on the first ring.

"I slept a little later than I originally planned, and then I was cleaning…"

"_You're getting ahead of yourself, aren't you? I'm not coming home for a while still… I wish I was coming home sooner._" Kurt smiled, sitting down on their bed.

"I wish you were coming home sooner, too. This bed is too big without you in it, too." Kurt absently stroked the comforter over Blaine's side of the bed. "Your mom just made me stop cleaning up and kicked me out of the kitchen. She started getting onto me for overdoing things…"

"_You do tend to go overboard. About a lot of things. But I kind of love you for that._" Kurt smiled, wishing he could hug his husband instead of just talking to him on the phone.

"I wish I could just be there with you… do you need anything? How are you on batteries?"

"_I'm fine, Kurt. I feel great, actually. And I haven't really been wearing my hearing aids much around here. There isn't exactly much reason to wear them, when I can hear the phone ring without them. And the only reason I need them is to talk to you and Mom,_" Blaine replied. Kurt sighed, shaking his head. "_The only thing I could use right now is you. But I know you can't exactly give me that right now, so I just have to settle for talking to you over the phone._"

"It's just for a little while… just until you're cleared to come home."

"_But we'll still have to be careful. I won't be able to kiss you or be around you without that damned mask for so long… I'm going to be so susceptible to everything for the next few months…_"

"Hey, shut up," Kurt replied, cutting Blaine off. "I'd rather go a few months without kissing you or being that close to you than to live without you for the rest of my life. This is what we needed to do – what you needed. And a few months of limited contact and all of these medical bills are so worth it if it means I get to spend even just a couple more years with you." Kurt lay down, staring at the book Blaine had left on the nightstand before he'd gone into the hospital. "You didn't finish your book…"

"_I wanted to have the ending to look forward to when I got out_." Kurt couldn't help laughing, shaking his head.

"How many times have you read _Deathly Hallows_ now?" Kurt could hear Blaine chuckling on the other end of the phone.

"_That's why I know I get to look forward to a happy ending. Just like the one I'm looking forward to having with you, once things are settled down again._"

"I'm looking forward to that, too. And our _real_ wedding, with everyone we want to be there instead of just our families."

"_I'm not as sure about all of that anymore… with the medical bills and everything, it just doesn't seem right to spend a lot of money on something like that. We don't really need a big wedding. We're already married…_" Kurt bit down on his bottom lip, trying to figure out how he should respond to his husband's comments. "_I mean, if it's something you really want, maybe we can compromise and have a smaller party back in Ohio or something. I just… the big expensive wedding thing kind of seems like a waste after everything else that's happened._" Kurt sighed.

"I just don't want you to feel like you gave something up…"

"_I've already given a lot of things up, Kurt._"

"We can wait, save the money. Renew our vows in a few years and have the big party then. Maybe we'll even have more to celebrate then," Kurt replied.

"_We can talk about it more when I get out of the hospital… we'll have plenty of time to talk then._"

"You know I love you, with or without the party."

"_I know. It just seems like that's a big deal to you._" Kurt sighed, shaking his head.

"Only because it's kind of a tradition. And I don't want us to miss out on anything…"

"_Who says we're missing out? We get to do things our own way. We don't have to be like everyone else… we'll never be like everyone else. And I don't want us to be cookie-cutter replicas of the other people around us. I want to be_ us_. Our own people._"

"I get it. We can hold off on the big party, save the money for something else. The most important thing is that we're together and we're happy. Everything else, we'll figure out as we go along."

"_I love you, Kurt_." Kurt smiled.

"I love you, too."


	34. This Kiss

_Disclaimer_: I don't own Glee, obviously. I just have fun taking what RIB have created & using it for my own amusement – which I naturally share with all of my fellow Gleeks. I make no profit from any of this, unless the fun I get to have counts in some way…

**A/n: I… think I just finished this story. I wasn't intending to finish the story in this chapter, but it just sort of wrapped itself up nicely. And I'm okay with that, because it takes some of the stress off me right now. So, I hope you all enjoyed!**

Somehow, being home didn't feel right to Blaine. It wasn't that he missed the hospital or anything like that – he had never been more grateful to get out of a hospital in his life. But somehow, the apartment he and Kurt shared just didn't really feel like their home any more, because he really didn't get to spend any time with Kurt. Blaine was pretty much quarantined in their bedroom unless he wore a surgical mask, and all Blaine really wanted was to get a real kiss from his husband and to enjoy being back in his own bed properly. But despite the fact that Blaine was feeling better than he had in months, he wasn't allowed to do anything he really wanted.

The computer had become Blaine's lifeline, the only way he could really talk to Kurt face to face since he'd gone into the hospital. And despite how ridiculous it felt, Blaine kept using Skype to talk to his husband whenever he wanted, so that neither one of them had to be annoyed by the ridiculous masks.

"I miss being in the same room with you when we talk…" Blaine began, watching Kurt on the computer screen as the other man worked on cooking dinner. "I can't wait until this whole quarantine thing is over. I feel too good to be stuck in this room…"

"_You won't feel that good if you don't keep away from all of the germs in this city, at least until you have a decent immune system again. Do you want carrots in this, too, or just the broccoli?_" Blaine couldn't help laughing a little at how quickly their conversation could change.

"Carrots are fine. Do we have any squash?" Blaine watched as Kurt wrinkled up his nose at the idea.

"_Not that I bought… I don't think your mom got any when she went to that farmer's market yesterday, either,_" Kurt replied. Blaine shook his head.

"I know you don't like squash… but a man can dream, right?"

"_I'll get you some squash for tomorrow, then. Honestly, at this point I'm so grateful you're eating again I'll buy pretty much anything you want to eat that you're allowed to have. Though I draw the line at preparing fish for you… I don't deal with their freaky little eyeballs…_" Blaine couldn't help laughing again. "_Don't laugh at me! They follow you around the room. And fish stink, and I am NOT getting that smell in all of my clothes…_"

"I think your clothes are safe, okay?" Blaine replied. "I'm okay without you making me fish… as long as that doesn't include frozen fish sticks, because you know those are my one weird frozen-food weakness."

"_I think I can handle those. But not yet… not until you're better. I'm not taking any chances right now, not when you're finally starting to get healthy again._"

"Thank you."

"_For what?_"

"For all of this. Taking such good care of me while I've been sick. Sticking with me through everything that's happened the past few years. For being the most amazing husband… more than I ever could have hoped for." Blaine watched as Kurt stopped what he was doing and turning to the camera.

"_I never would have dreamt of leaving you just because things got hard, Blaine. I couldn't bear the idea of losing you… why would I have thrown away whatever time I could have left with you, when I could have had you for even just a little while longer?_"

"I wish I could kiss you right now…"

"_You have no idea how much I would like that, too._" Blaine smiled, getting up.

"I think I'm going to have to do something about that…" Blaine started towards the door before Kurt could respond.

"_Blaine… you shouldn't…_" The other man's pleas were easy to ignore; all Blaine wanted was to kiss his husband for the first time in weeks. Blaine was out the door and across the room to the kitchen in less than a moment, leaning in to press a kiss against his husband's lips.

"You shouldn't be out here without the mask… or here kissing me…" Blaine smiled, letting his forehead rest against Kurt's for a moment.

"Whatever comes out of this, it was totally worth being able to kiss you again."


End file.
